THE ROLLINGSKULL, VOLUME 19, ISSUE 243 October 3, 2025 - Music By Focus, Zero In July (extended version) OFFL's Week V      -  Midnight Dawgs:  Nap Champion      -  Pedro Has Week V's Predictions      -  Mean Machine:  Mild Mifunction      -  Hoffnuts and Fanatics:  One is going down according to Pedro (figuratively)      -  Search for Inner Peace:  WTFIS JIMMY?      -  Rodger's Witch:  The Brew Went Sour      -  Commissioner Purvis Threatens League Shutdown If He Can't Break 50 Points      -  Zack's Facts As always, we appreciate your patronage.    E. A. Presley Editor and Chief of the RollingSkull

 

DIDDY TRIVIA:  FOOTBALL KNOWLEDGE FOR THE NEXT 25 YEARS TO LIFE Like Aaron Hernandez, before him-- It took us a while to replace OJ, but at last we found the right guy.  Introducing Diddy Trivia.  While Diddy gets ready for his break out tour, he still has time for some good ole NFL Trivia!!  Last week's question is, "Who quarterbacked the Rams in their first Super Bowl appearance?"  The answer is Vince Ferragamo.  Vince and the Rams were in the lead until Pittsburgh rallied in the fourth quarter to pull out the victory. Vince Ferragamo was a fourth-round draft pick by the Los Angeles Rams in 1977, mostly serving as a backup until 1979. That season, starting QB Pat Haden broke his finger mid-year, and Ferragamo stepped in as starter beginning in Week 12. Despite limited NFL experience, Ferragamo led the Rams to a string of clutch wins, including playoff upsets over the Dallas Cowboys and Tampa Bay Buccaneers. In the NFC Championship, Ferragamo helped the Rams secure their first-ever trip to the Super Bowl—Super Bowl XIV—where they faced the Pittsburgh Steelers. Though the Rams ultimately lost 31–19, Ferragamo threw for over 200 yards and kept the game competitive into the fourth quarter. His performance made him the first quarterback to start a Super Bowl with fewer than 10 regular-season starts, and he became a fan favorite for his poise under pressure. This week's question, "Paul Krause set a record for career interceptions with how many?" a.  80   b.  83 c.  82   d.  81 Due to current legal obligations under review, we cannot provide any awards or prizes this week.  We should resume our regular format next week --  On a related matter, please take note of a statement issued by the OFFL this week concerning a past prize-- BREAKING: Midnight Dawgs Mascot Recalled! Turns out the stuffed animal was too lifelike—it kept falling asleep during games and refusing to bark unless the team scored over 40 points.  Manufacturers say it’s not defective, just “emotionally disappointed.” Consumers are advised to check for signs of low morale, underwhelming stats, and a faint scent of regret. If found, return immediately and request a replacement: preferably one that knows how to set a fantasy lineup.

Pedro goes 6 for 7 last week,  14 for 28 on the season (.500).   Here we go with Week V. Predictions are brought to you by CLE QB, Dillon Gabriel's girlfriend, Zo Caswell (pro QB's for shitty Ohio teams keep getting it done). SPOKESMODEL                   MATCHUP                              PREDICTION   vs   50 to 49:  Midnight Riders (too close)   vs   59 to 54:  Ballbusters   vs   33 to 39:  NY Gangsters **   vs  55 to 54:  Mr. Hoffnuts (too close)   vs   51 to 50:  Catch These L's (too close)   vs  58 to 50:  Flying Gators   vs  58 to 53:  Rodgers Witch                                                                                                     ** ESTRADIOL GAME OF THE WEEK

Zack's Facts •         Through 4 game Dallas has the #1 offense at 404 yards per game, #5 offense at 30 points scored per game, and the #32 defense with            420 yards given per game and 33 points given per game; Dallas’ opponents are 32 of 55 (58.2%) on 3rd down…the best mark by any            one offense in 3rd down efficiency is Miami at 54.3% •         “Before we win games, we have to learn how to not lose them,” – Aaron Glenn, Jets head coach •         Rookie RBs ran for 737 yards in Week 4, most by any rookie class in a week in the month of September all time •         Broncos have not trailed within regulation in the 4th quarter all year: they are 2-2; Denver amassed 500 yards of offense for the first            time since January 2016: Peyton Manning’s final regular season game •         Derrick Henry passes Fred Taylor for 17th all-time in rushing yards •         Nick Sirianni is the 3rd head coach in history with three 4-0 starts in their first five career seasons joining Paul Brown and George Halas •         Carolina has a positive point differential for the 1st time in three years •         Caleb Williams has 14 games to get 3,285 yards (~235 per game) and become the first Chicago QB to throw for 4,000 yards in a season •         Sam Darnold since beginning the 2024 season: 17-4 record, 5,224 passing yards, 40 TDs, 103.1 passer rating •         FGs make up 24% of all points in a game, the highest % since the NFL/AFL merger (1970 •         If Detroit finishes with a winning record Dan Campbell will have as many winning seasons (4) in five years as the Lions organization did            in the 20 years prior to hiring him •         Only one team has made the playoffs after a 0-4 start: Chargers in 1992 went 11-5 •         Washington are averaging 5.9 yards per carry, half a yard more per carry than any other team •         Packers 40, Cowboys 40: Scorigami; the last time Dallas had a tie was Thanksgiving 1969 (nice) •         Baltimore are on pace to break the record of 1,011 points allowed set by the 2000 Rams •         Puka Nacua is the 1st player to record 500 yards through the 1st four games of a season more than once •         Ben Johnson (1-1) has more Sunday away game victories with Chicago than Matt Eberflus (0-18) •         Tampa Bay K Chase McLaughlin kicked a 65 yard FG, the longest outdoor FG in history (Justin Tucker’s 66 yard FG was indoors) •         Derrick Henry high school stats: 48 GP, 1,397 carries, 12,124 rushing yards, 153 TDs Derrick Henry NFL stats: 140 GP, 2,404 carries,           11,707 rushing yards, 114 TDs 7 Most Terrifying Consequences Of A Government Shutdown Brace yourself, America: the federal government has been shut down. Congress will no longer be able to pass any bills and all federal agencies will grind to a halt. But, there will also be some very serious consequences. Here are the 7 most terrifying: -  The Capitol cafeteria will not be able to serve Ted Cruz his customary afternoon Ho Hos: Devastating. -  That department you've never heard of that does nothing for you will be furloughed: You can kiss the Commission on     Overseas Native Fisheries goodbye. -  Government workers will lose thousands of hours of sleep they would otherwise be getting at work: No one wants to sleep on their own time. -  Rand Paul will be intolerably giddy: He's so annoying when he gets like that. -  AOC will have to go back to bartending, but she doesn't know how to make a rum and coke: It's a tough recipe. -  Instead of shopping online while "working from home," government employees will have to shop online while furloughed at home: Brutal. -  No one will be able to unlock the restrooms at Yosemite National Park: It is literally impossible to evacuate your bowels without    government support. If you are reading this, there is still time. Please, go back to your emergency bunkers and hold your loved ones close as you ride out the storm of a government shut down. It's going to be a rough ride. DO NOT — REPEAT — DO NOT EXIT YOUR BUNKER FOR ANY REASON. The consequences could be dire. Beer Brats with Caramelized Onions and Sauerkraut  The Ingredients 3 cans (12 oz.) lager of your choice Completed step 16 ounces sauerkraut 2 tablespoons ¼ cup whole grain mustard, plus more for serving 2 tablespoons cooking oil 8 bratwursts 2 tablespoons unsalted butter 1 large yellow onion, thinly sliced ¼ tsp salt 8 bratwurst buns Special Equipment- large disposable foil pan Instructions Fire up these bratwursts for your next BBQ or gameday cookout. A quick sear builds flavor and color, then the brats finish in a warm bath of lager. We like making these on the griddle, where you can caramelize the onions. But if you’re using a different grill, tossing the onions right into the beer bath will soften them and add plenty of flavor without extra equipment. Preheat the griddle on high heat for 10 minutes. Combine the beer, sauerkraut, and mustard in an aluminum or grill-safe pan. Place the pan on one side of the griddle and bring the mixture to a simmer. |Meanwhile, spread the oil over the other side of the griddle and add the bratwursts. Cook until well browned, about 2 minutes per side (they won’t be fully cooked yet). Transfer the brats to the beer mixture. Simmer until the brats reach an internal temperature of 155°F, 18–20 minutes. If the beer begins to boil rapidly, lower the heat to maintain a gentle simmer. As the brats simmer, lower the heat on the other side of the griddle to medium. Melt the butter on the cooler side and add the onions. Season the onions with salt and cook until they've softened and lightly browned, about 5 minutes. Take about ¼ cup of the beer from the brats and add it to the onions. Continue cooking until they’ve become very soft, deeply caramelized, and slightly charred, about 10 minutes longer. Transfer the onions to a serving dish.Transfer each brat to a bun. Use tongs or a slotted spoon to top with some of the sauerkraut. Top each brat with some onions and more mustard if you’d like.