OFFL: RollingSKull Issue 241

OFFL: RollingSKull Issue 241

THE ROLLINGSKULL, VOLUME 19, ISSUE 242
September 26, 2025 - Music By Marilyn Manson, Deep Six

OFFL's Week IV
     - Where's Jimmy?
     - PTSD -- The New Drama
     - Pedro Has Week IV's Predictions
     - Hoffnuts and Fanatics, Who Takes an L First?
     - Speaking of Catching L's- How about Those Hands!
     - From Champ to Chomp
     - Hell Froze: Gators and Riders Take First Win
     - Zack's Facts
As always, we appreciate your patronage.

E. A. Presley
Editor and Chief of the RollingSkull

DIDDY TRIVIA: FOOTBALL KNOWLEDGE FOR THE NEXT 25 YEARS TO LIFE

Like Aaron Hernandez, before him-- It took us a while to replace OJ, but at last we found the right guy.
Introducing Diddy Trivia. While Diddy gets ready for his break out tour, he still has time for some good ole NFL Trivia!! Last week's question is, "Which position did Hall of Fame coach Tom Landry play for the New York Giants before he retired as a player? The anwswer was defensive back.

Before retiring as a player, Hall of Fame coach Tom Landry played cornerback and safety for the New York Giants in the NFL. He was known for his intelligence and leadership on the field, even serving as a player-coach during his final seasons. His defensive acumen as a player laid the foundation for his legendary coaching career with the Dallas Cowboys.

Week four's question, "Who quarterbacked the Rams in their first Super Bowl appearance?"

a. Vince Ferragamo
b. Pat Hayden
c. Roman Gabriel
d. Kurt Warner

This week's winners will be flown to Hollywood to be an extra on this Fall's most anticipated medical drama, "Post Touchdown Shock Disorder." With 21.5pts last week, that’s not a fantasy score— That’s a blood pressure reading. You’re not losing the matchup, you’re surviving it!

This week's checklist:

1. Read the Rules... Read the Rules... Read the Rules.

2. TRADE DEADLINE:  Trading will cease at 12:45pm eastern, Sunday, Week 9.

3. It is the responsibility of all owners to update their roster for Thursday (Fri/Sat) games. The remainder of the roster locks in at 12:59am on
     Sunday. This includes the Sunday late game players and Monday night players. Remember, total points come into play later in the season...
     Not only for the Wild Card, divisional tie breakers too! We play for 4-quarters gentlemen.

4. Available Apps for MyFantasyLeague (MFL)
       a. OFFL Game Day for PC, GAMEDAY APP. Use League ID 56409.
       b. MFL Premium for iPhone. League ID 56409.
       c. MFL Platinum for Android. League ID 56409.
            Side note: The home page scoreboard at tmes is faster if you like to refresh and drill down on each game individually.

5. Week One, NFL Schedule:

MATCHUP		TIME	TV	Location
Thursday, September 25, 2025
Seattle	@ Arizona	8:15 PM	Prime Video	State Farm Stadium, Glendale, AZ
Sunday, September 28, 2025
Minnesota	@ Pittsburgh	9:30 AM	NFL/NFL+	Croke Park, Dublin, Ireland
Washington	@ Atlanta	1:00 PM	CBS	Mercedes-Benz Stadium, Atlanta, GA
New Orleans	@ Buffalo	1:00 PM	CBS	Highmark Stadium, Orchard Park, NY
Cleveland	@ Detroit	1:00 PM	FOX	Ford Field, Detroit, MI
Carolina	@ New England	1:00 PM	FOX	Gillette Stadium, Foxborough, MA
Los Angeles	@ New York	1:00 PM	CBS	MetLife Stadium, East Rutherford, NJ
Philadelphia	@ Tampa Bay	1:00 PM	FOX	Raymond James Stadium, Tampa, FL
Tennessee	@ Houston	1:00 PM	CBS	NRG Stadium, Houston, TX
Indianapolis	@ Los Angeles	4:05 PM	FOX	SoFi Stadium, Inglewood, CA
Jacksonville	@ San Francisco	4:05 PM	FOX	Levi's Stadium, Santa Clara, CA
Baltimore	@ Kansas City	4:25 PM	CBS	GEHA Field at Arrowhead Stadium, Kansas City, MO
Chicago	@ Las Vegas	4:25 PM	CBS	Allegiant Stadium, Las Vegas, NV
Green Bay	@ Dallas	8:20 PM	NBC	AT&T Stadium, Arlington, TX
Monday, September 29, 2025
New York	@ Miami	7:15 PM	ESPN	Hard Rock Stadium, Miami Gardens, FL
Cincinnati	@ Denver	8:15 PM	ABC	Empower Field at Mile High, Denver, CO

Week Three Observations

PTSD: London Bridge is falling down… and so is your fantasy team.

Rodger's Witch has some high expectations and fells short with 38pts... Talk about brewing a cauldron of mediocrity, expired ingredients and serving it cold.

The New York Gansters couldn’t rob a touchdown if it was gift-wrapped in the red zone. Now they are wanted for crimes against lineup efficiency.

For a WR2, Ridley’s stat line was quiet. So quiet, it got flagged for loitering. “Midnight Dawgs? More like "Midnight Yawns." This team hit the snooze button so hard, even the Atlanta D took a nap on the stat sheet.

Catch These Hands lived up to the name—because this lineup caught hands, L's, and a score of 44.175 but emotionally felt like a 12. Jacory Croskey-Merritt & Bijan Robinson (5.55 pts each). These RBs ran like they were dodging responsibilities, not defenders.

Quote from SiriusXM Sports, "If you want to know who your "league chump" is, go see who picked up Jeremy McNichols... I'll let you all research...

--BomB OuT

Things even out in Week III, 3 for 7, 8 for 21 on the season (.381). Here we go with Week IV.
Predictions are brought to you by WWE's Jade Cargill, aka "The Storm."

SPOKESMODEL	MATCHUP	PREDICTION
	vs	45 to 42: Roars to Riches (close one) **
	vs	50 to 54: Ballbusters
	vs	43 to 53: Mr. Hoffnuts
	vs	40 to 45: Throw That tD
	vs	51 to 50: Fanatics
	vs	50 to 45: Midnight Riders
	vs	51 to 43: Romosexual Tendencies

** ESTRADIOL GAME OF THE WEEK

Zack's Facts

• Tampa Bay is 3-0 for the first time since 2005.
• Caleb Williams’ 62.3 air yards on his flea flicker to Luther Burden III is the longest completion this season; in his last 17 games
   Caleb has thrown 25 TDs and 3 INTs.
• Atlanta did not cross the 30-yard line in their 30-0 loss to Carolina.
• Vikings’ Isaiah Rodgers in the first half: 1 INT, 2 FF, 1 FR, 2 TDs; he earned a perfect 99.9 PFF grade .
• Jordan Davis ran 18.59 mph during the game winning block TD which is the fastest speed by a player >330 pounds since at least 2017
    (cough Larry Allen cough).
• Sean McVay is 0-4 vs Nick Sirianni.
• Kansas City is now 1-7 on the road against the Giants (all-time).
• Indianapolis’ 1 punt through 3 games is the fewest since the start of the 1940 season; Indy’s offensive performance was the best of any team
   this season based on EPA per drive: 8 possessions, 4 TDs, 2 FGs, 1 missed FG, 1 punt. The next best offensive performance this season was
   also by the Colts (Week 1).
• Tory Horton’s 95-yard punt return for a TD is Seattle’s first punt return TD in 10 years.
• Chargers are 3-0 for the first time since 2002 and have a 3-0 record within the division for the first time since since 1996.
• Jerry Jones is an idiot.
• George Pickens: 9 targets, 5 receptions, 68 yards, 1 TD – the same stat line in consecutive weeks.
• 7 game winning scores in the final three minutes on Sunday ties the record for a single week.
• Only 6 teams have started 0-3 and made the playoffs in history: Jets (1981), Tampa (1982), San Diego (1992), Detroit (1995),
   Buffalo (1998), Houston (2018)
• CJ Stoud’s first 10 games: 17 TDs, 5 INTs, 2962 yards CJ Stroud’s last 10 games: 9 TDs, 7 INTs, 1978 yards.
• Philadelphia and the Rams had 26 unanswered points against each other.
• Michael Penix Jr is 0-4 when the opposition scores more than 7 points.
• Jordan Love averaged 1.6 air yards per attempt against the Browns which is (by far) the worst by anyone this season and is the fourth
   worst single game mark since 2018.
• Derrick Henry has fumbled every game this season
• Baltimore failed to get a sack for the first time in 57 games; Baltimore's 8-point loss to the Lions is their largest regular season loss in a game that
   Lamar Jackson started since Week 10 against Miami in 2021; in 2024 the Ravens were 2nd league-wide in rushing success rate...they are 32nd
   through three weeks in 2025.
• Eagles have never lost a game where Jalen Hurts, DeVonta Smith, A.J. Brown, and Saquon Barkley have played in its entirety: 18-0.
• Jake Browning is 30th in passes thrown but 1st in INTs • Jacory Croskey-Merritt has a PFF rushing grade of 89.3, highest among
   qualifying running backs

Twenty Ways to Lose Your Man Card

The world needs men. Sadly, many men are shirking their God-given responsibilities these days to live like little fancy boys. To guard against this spreading loss of masculinity, here is a compiled list of guaranteed ways to lose your "man card."

- Linger too long on the soccer game while flipping through the channels: If your eyes cause you to sin by watching a gay sport, pluck them out.
- Agreeing to match your outfit with your woman (also using pet names in public.)
- Sitting down on the toilet for No. 1 because your woman makes you.
- Not paying for a date.
- Wearing skinny jeans.
- Not knowing your vehicle's model and year.
- Going back to a woman who cheated on you.
- Having any idea what the Tony Awards are.
- Not really know what a "joist" is: If you don't know, maybe ask your wife, since she probably wears the pants in your household.
- Asking your woman to drive during a date.
- Wear a San Diego Padres City Connect jersey: Even women don't wear that much pink.
- Using any emoji other than "thumbs up": All other emojis are for ladies. Are you a lady?
- Use a napkin: You've got a perfectly good shirt sleeve right there.
- Moisturize: Soft skin is for babies.
- Ask for help at Home Depot: Jesus, the perfect standard of masculinity, never once asked for help at Home Depot.
- Fold laundry: Just wad them up and throw them somewhere like a real man.
- Sneeze quietly: It's common knowledge that 190 dB is the minimum acceptable male sneeze volume.
- Saying or texting the word “yummy” to describe food or the opposite sex.
- Taking photos of yourself in the mirror.
- Calling a touchdown a “tuddy.”

Cold Smoked Deviled Eggs

Every family has their famous deviled egg recipe and the person in charge of making them. Send this recipe along to show them how they can step it up this time around! Cold smoked with the wood-fired flavor of all-natural BBQ pellets (charcoal/wood can be used also), this bite-sized delight is amplified with smoky flavor unlike anything you've ever tried before. We recommend using a hardwood pellet blend like Pecan or Oak Blend Pellets for a perfectly smoky flavor that's just right.

INGREDIENTS

12 hard boiled eggs
1 cup mayonnaise
1 tbsp Dijon mustard
2 tbsp chives, thinly sliced
1/2 tsp favorite BBQ Rub (recommend a garlic, salt, pepper rub)
Zest from 1 lemon
Piping Bag

DIRECTIONS

Technique might vary here given what kind of smoker/grill that you use. Its important to keep the heat low... For you guys with a Traeger or Pitboss - Fill and light a smoke tube with hardwood pellets and allow to burn for 10 minutes. For a stick or charcoal burner- you may need to burn longer as you want a very low temp and a very light, almost transparent blue smoke. You can surf the net if you are not sure how to approach your setup...

Peel and split each hard-boiled egg in half and remove the yolks, carefully so as not to ruin the egg whites. In a mixing bowl, mash the egg yolks, and add, mayo, mustard, chives, GSP, and lemon zest. Mix the ingredients until mixture is smooth and uniform. Fill a piping bag with your yolk mixture, then fill each egg white equally. Place the finished eggs in a shallow pan or cookie sheet. Then, set the tray of eggs and smoke tube inside your grill—do not turn the grill on!

Allow the eggs to cold smoke for 5-10 minutes. The longer the eggs are exposed the cold smoke, the stronger they will taste. Note: cold smoking temperatures range from 60-80°F. Remove from smoker, top with paprika, and serve or refrigerate immediately.

To cold smoke deviled eggs on a charcoal/wood smoker, follow these steps: Prepare the Eggs as described prior. Preheat your smoker to a low temperature (around 120°F to 160°F) and add your choice of wood chips or pellets. Let the temp drop... Smoke the eggs for 10-15 minutes for a light smoke, or up to 30 minutes for a stronger flavor.