OFFL: RollingSKull Issue 241

THE ROLLINGSKULL, VOLUME 19, ISSUE 241
September 19, 2025 - Music By Clutch, Electric Worry

OFFL's Week III
     - Supersticious Jimmy (he's quiet when he loses)
     - PTSD Has PTSD?
     - We Know Who Stephanie Niles is Now
     - Pedro Has Week Three's Predictions
     - Need a Win, Play the Riders
     - Ka'imi Leading the Witch Roster
     - The Fanatics, Wins with Mirrors
     - Flying Gators Drop In Market Value
     - Zack's Facts
As always, we appreciate your patronage.

E. A. Presley
Editor and Chief of the RollingSkull

DIDDY TRIVIA: FOOTBALL KNOWLEDGE FOR THE NEXT 25 YEARS TO LIFE

Like Aaron Hernandez, before him-- It took us a while to replace OJ, but at last we found the right guy.
Introducing Diddy Trivia. While Diddy gets ready for his break out tour, he still has time for some good ole NFL Trivia!! Last week's question is, "Which were the nicknames given to the 1972 Miami Dolphins running backs, Larry Csonka and Jim Kiick?" The answer was, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.

Larry Csonka and Jim Kiick were the bruising backbone of the Miami Dolphins’ offense during their legendary early 1970s run, including the 1972 perfect season—the only undefeated campaign in NFL history. Together, they were nicknamed “Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid” for their close friendship and off-field charisma. Their bond and balance helped define the Dolphins’ dynasty and left a lasting imprint on NFL history.
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This week's question "Which position did Hall of Fame coach Tom Landry play for the New York Giants before he retired as a player?
a. Defensive back
b. Halfback
|c. Quarterback
d. Fullback

This week's winners will receive a Ka’imi Fairbairn Bobblehead, courtesy of the 10th place, Rodger's Witch. 33 points is what you get when your lineup is less “fantasy football” and more “fantasy futility." Enjoy

This week's checklist:

1. Welcome our new Team Owners: Hajji Perez, James Ford, and Joseph Ball.

2. Read the Rules... Read the Rules... Read the Rules.

3. TRADE DEADLINE:  Trading will cease at 12:45pm eastern, Sunday, Week 9.

4. It is the responsibility of all owners to update their roster for Thursday (Fri/Sat) games. The remainder of the roster locks in at 12:59am on
     Sunday. This includes the Sunday late game players and Monday night players. Remember, total points come into play later in the season...
     Not only for the Wild Card, divisional tie breakers too! We play for 4-quarters gentlemen.

5. Available Apps for MyFantasyLeague (MFL)
       a. OFFL Game Day for PC, GAMEDAY APP. Use League ID 56409.
       b. MFL Premium for iPhone. League ID 56409.
       c. MFL Platinum for Android. League ID 56409.
            Side note: The home page scoreboard at tmes is faster if you like to refresh and drill down on each game individually.

6. Week One, NFL Schedule:

MATCHUP		TIME	TV	Location / Weather
Thursday, September 18, 2025
Miami	@ Buffalo	8:15 PM	Prime Video	Highmark Stadium, Orchard Park, NY
Sunday, September 21, 2025
Green Bay	@ Cleveland	1:00 PM	FOX	Huntington Bank Field, Cleveland, OH
Indianapolis	@ Tennessee	1:00 PM	CBS	Nissan Stadium, Nashville, TN
Cincinnati	@ Minnesota	1:00 PM	CBS	U.S. Bank Stadium, Minneapolis, MN
Pittsburgh	@ New England	1:00 PM	CBS	Gillette Stadium, Foxborough, MA
Los Angeles	@ Philadelphia	1:00 PM	FOX	Lincoln Financial Field, Philadelphia, PA
New York	@ Tampa Bay	1:00 PM	FOX	Raymond James Stadium, Tampa, FL
Las Vegas	@ Washington	1:00 PM	FOX	Northwest Stadium, Landover, MD
Atlanta	@ Carolina	1:00 PM	FOX	Bank of America Stadium, Charlotte, NC
Houston	@ Jacksonville	1:00 PM	CBS	EverBank Stadium, Jacksonville, FL
Denver	@ Los Angeles	4:05 PM	CBS	SoFi Stadium, Inglewood, CA
New Orleans	@ Seattle	4:05 PM	CBS	Lumen Field, Seattle, WA
Dallas	@ Chicago	4:25 PM	FOX	Soldier Field, Chicago, IL
Arizona	@ San Francisco	4:25 PM	FOX	Levi's Stadium, Santa Clara, CA
Kansas City	@ New York	8:20 PM	NBC	MetLife Stadium, East Rutherford, NJ
Monday, September 22, 2025
Detroit	@ Baltimore	8:15 PM	ABC/ESPN	M&T Bank Stadium, Baltimore, MD

Week Two Observations

Jimmy, I didn’t hear any trash talk this week… Did your Wi-Fi go out or just your fantasy team?

Pete and Riders are the lowest scoring team in the league. His team’s so washed, even Tide Pods are filing for copyright infringement.

Regarding Joe of the Flying Gators, What if I told you, "The greatest fantasy manager of all time forgot to draft a team?"

Who saw that Mark's Fanatics are in 2nd place? He’s the fantasy version of a luxury car with no engine. Looks good in the standings, but ain’t going anywhere.

Catch These Hands Didn't Win the Game Last Week - Mayfield was the only one who showed up with cleats and a pulse. Everyone else brought flip-flops and excuses...

--BomB OuT

A slight pickup for Pedro in Week II, 4 for 7, 5 for 14 on the season (.357). Here we go with Week III.
This weeks prediction are brought to you by Jake Browning's fiance, Stephanie Niles.

SPOKESMODEL	MATCHUP	PREDICTION
	vs	25 to 62: Mean Machine
	vs	55 to 54: Midnight Dawgs (could go either way)
	vs	49 to 53: Flying Gators
	vs	50 to 45: CTH&Ls
	vs	57 to 43: Ballbusters
	vs	55 to 25: Midnight Riders **
	vs	51 to 49: Romosexual Tendencies

** ESTRADIOL GAME OF THE WEEK

Zack's Facts

• Dallas Cowboys kicker Brandon Aubrey tied the all-time mark for most 60+ yard field goals in NFL history on Sunday; metrics dictate
   his 64-yard field goal would’ve been good from upwards of 72 yards
• 4 out of the 7 total game winning/tying 60+ yard field goals as time expired in the 4th quarter (all time) came against the Giants
• For the first time since 2021, the Chiefs are not the favorites to win the AFC West. On Monday morning, the Chargers are the favorites in
   the AFC West at +160 at ESPN BET. The Chiefs are +185.
• Tampa Bay's win over the Texans is their first ever in the city of Houston in franchise history; they are the 6th team since the NFL merger
   to start 2-0 in five straight seasons
• Spencer Rattler is 0-9 as a starter. Here are QBs since merger with most consecutive losses to begin their careers: DeShone Kizer 15,
   Jack Trudeau 12, Troy Aikman 11, Stan Gelbaugh 11, Derek Carr 10, Zach Mettenberger 10, Brodie Croyle 10, and Warren Moon 10
• Robert Saleh’s defensive NFL rankings since 2019: 2, 5, 32, 4, 3, 3, 4
• Miami Dolphins defense has allowed points on 12 straight possessions, which is the most consecutively since 2000.
• For the first time in 1064 days, the Patriots have scored 30 points in a NFL football game.
• Eagles record the last two seasons when they have fewer than 100 net passing yards: 4-0
• Over the first two games, Lamar Jackson is throwing a touchdown every 8 attempts (12.5 TD%)
• Dak Prescott’s 14th consecutive win against the Giants is now the 2nd longest win streak by a QB against a single opponent in NFL history
• Russell Wilson's 450 yards in today's loss is the 2nd most yards he's ever thrown in a single game and just 2 yards short of his career high
• Eagles join the Colts as the only franchises with a winning record against Patrick Mahomes
• The Eagles are over .500 for the first time in franchise history (since 1933)
• There are only 3 quarterbacks that have won the AFC East since 2001: Tom Brady, Josh Allen, and Chad Pennington
• Joe Burrow missing at least two games with his toe injury will mean he has missed more games due to injury on his career than Tua Tagovailoa
• Daniel Jones in his first 2 games as a Colt: 71.4% completion rate, 588 yards, 5 total TDs, 0 turnovers, 111.1 rating
• Panthers' Xavier Legette Becomes 1st WR in NFL History to Record Negative Receiving Yards On At Least Eight Targets
• The Indianapolis Colts are the first team in the Super Bowl era to not punt in their first two games of the season
• The Chiefs start the year 0-2 for the first time since 2014
• 35% of JJ McCarthy’s throws were deemed uncatchable; if McCarthy spiked all 21 passing attempts instead of actually playing he would
   have a higher QBR
• The Denver Broncos eat 700 uncrustables each week. NFL consumes over 80k uncrustables a year.

Marital Bliss Part II

I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

My partner and I always hold hands when we go out. If I let go, she shops.

Marriage is when a man and woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

I haven’t talked to my wife in three days. I don’t like to interrupt her.

My wife said she needed more space. So I locked her outside.

Love is blind—but marriage is a real eye-opener.

Alcohol may not solve your problems, but neither will water.

You know you’re getting old when your back goes out more than you do.

Lone Star Dino Ribs

Ingredients
2 sides bone-in short ribs
1/4 cup honey
1/4 Cup Dijon Mustard
2 Tbsp Sriracha
1 stick or 1/4 lb. butter
Texas A&M Brisket Rub
BBQ Sauce of Your Choice

For the Rub Combine
2 cups canning/pickling salt
1 cup paprika
1/2 cup coarse ground pepper
1/4 cup fine ground pepper
1/2 cup onion powder
1/2 cup garlic powder
1/2 cup cayenne pepper
1/2 cup brown sugar (packed)

Directions

Preheat your grill or smoker to 275°F
Using a trimming knife, trim silver skin and any extra fat from short ribs.
In a small bowl, combine honey, mustard, and sriracha.
Apply an even coat of this binder to all sides of the short ribs with a sauce mop.
Season all sides of the coated ribs with BBQ rub, evenly.
Place the short ribs on the upper rack of the preheated grill/smoker and smoke until they reach an internal temperature of 165°F, approximately 2-2.5 hours.
Remove the ribs from the smoker, rubs each side with softened butter, then wrap in butcher paper.
Place ribs back in grill/smoker and cook until they reach an internal temperature of 205°F, approximately 4 hours.
Remove ribs from the smoker and allow them to rest for one hour, wrapped. Then, unwrap and glaze or serve with favorite BBQ sauce.