OFFL: RollingSKull Issue 240

OFFL: RollingSKull Issue 240

THE ROLLINGSKULL, VOLUME 19, ISSUE 240
September 12, 2025 - Music By Nevertel & Sleep Theory - Break The Silence

Week TWO
     - Chucky and Jimmy Bask In the Glory
     - Top 10 Busts
     - Apple Blaze Ribs That Kick
     - Pedro Has Week Two's Predictions
     - Is Pete a Better Commissioner Than a Team Owner?
     - Zack's Facts
As always, we appreciate your patronage.

E. A. Presley
Editor and Chief of the RollingSkull

DIDDY TRIVIA: FOOTBALL KNOWLEDGE FOR THE NEXT 25 YEARS TO LIFE

Like Aaron Hernandez, before him-- It took us a while to replace OJ, but at last we found the right guy.
Introducing Diddy Trivia. While Diddy gets ready for his break out tour, he still has time for some good ole NFL Trivia!! Last week's question is, ""Which other sport while in college, did former NFL great Jim Brown excel in as well as football?

The answer? Jim Brown attended Syracuse University where he was an All-American in Lacrosse as well as football.

How about an easy one for week two, "Which were the nicknames given to the 1972 Miami Dolphins running backs, Larry Csonka and Jim Kiick?"

a. Bert and Ernie
b. Pancho and the Cisco Kid
c. Laurel and Hardy
d. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid

This week's winners will receive free copies of Ghost Adventures on BetaMax! Zak Bagans digs in deep on the Midnight Rider Curse... "They were drafted with hope... but played like they were possessed. Now, one fantasy manager dares to confront the spirits of underperformance."

This week's checklist:

1. Welcome our new Team Owners: Hajji Perez, James Ford, and Joseph Ball.

2. Read the Rules... Read the Rules... Read the Rules.

3. TRADE DEADLINE:  Trading will cease at 12:45pm eastern, Sunday, Week 9.

4. It is the responsibility of all owners to update their roster for Thursday (Fri/Sat) games. The remainder of the roster locks in at 12:59am on
     Sunday. This includes the Sunday late game players and Monday night players. Remember, total points come into play later in the season...
     Not only for the Wild Card, divisional tie breakers too! We play for 4-quarters gentlemen.

5. Available Apps for MyFantasyLeague (MFL)
       a. OFFL Game Day for PC, GAMEDAY APP. Use League ID 56409.
       b. MFL Premium for iPhone. League ID 56409.
       c. MFL Platinum for Android. League ID 56409.
            Side note: The home page scoreboard at tmes is faster if you like to refresh and drill down on each game individually.

6. Week One, NFL Schedule:

MATCHUP		TIME	TV	Location
Thursday, September 4, 2025
Dallas	@ Philadelphia	8:20 PM	NBC	Lincoln Financial Field, Philadelphia, PA
Friday, September 5, 2025
Kansas City	@ Los Angeles	8:00 PM	YouTube	Corinthians Arena, Sao Paulo, Brazil
Sunday, September 7, 2025
Tampa Bay	@ Atlanta	1:00 PM	FOX	Mercedes-Benz Stadium, Atlanta, GA
Cincinnati	@ Cleveland	1:00 PM	FOX	Huntington Bank Field, Cleveland, OH
Miami	@ Indianapolis	1:00 PM	CBS	Lucas Oil Stadium, Indianapolis, IN
Las Vegas	@ New England	1:00 PM	CBS	Gillette Stadium, Foxborough, MA
Arizona	@ New Orleans	1:00 PM	CBS	Caesars Superdome, New Orleans, LA
Pittsburgh	@ New York	1:00 PM	CBS	MetLife Stadium, East Rutherford, NJ
New York	@ Washington	1:00 PM	FOX	Northwest Stadium, Landover, MD
Carolina	@ Jacksonville	1:00 PM	FOX	EverBank Stadium, Jacksonville, FL
Tennessee	@ Denver	4:05 PM	FOX	Empower Field at Mile High, Denver, CO
San Francisco	@ Seattle	4:05 PM	FOX	Lumen Field, Seattle, WA
Detroit	@ Green Bay	4:25 PM	CBS	Lambeau Field, Green Bay, WI
Houston	@ Los Angeles	4:25 PM	CBS	SoFi Stadium, Inglewood, CA
Baltimore	@ Buffalo	8:20 PM	NBC	Highmark Stadium, Orchard Park, NY
Monday, September 8, 2025
Minnesota	@ Chicago	8:15 PM	ABC/ESPN	Soldier Field, Chicago, IL

Week One's Top Ten Busts

01. Ballbusters/Cameron Ward (QB, TEN) - 2.8pts “Started his NFL career by setting fantasy football back a decade. Negative points? That’s not a stat line—it’s a cry for help.” At least they didn't start him.

02. Ballbusters/Dak Prescott (QB, DAL) - 4.85 pts“Played like he was hosting a backyard BBQ, not a football game. No turnovers, no touchdowns, no fantasy relevance. Just vibes.” They did start him.

03. Dawgs/Joe Burrow (QB, CIN) - 5.975 pts “Threw for 113 yards and a TD, but it felt like he was trying to keep his fantasy score under 10 on purpose. Houdini-level disappearing act.”

04. Gangsters/Drake London (WR, ATL) – 2.75 pts “Started the season like he was running routes in a blackout. No targets, no hope, just crickets.”

05. Hoffnuts/D’Andre Swift (RB, CHI) – 3.25 pts“Got the start, then got iced. His stat line was so cold, it came with frostbite warnings.” I guess there is something to be said for Chucky's management as Swift sat the bench.

06. Riders/Kenneth Walker III (RB, SEA) – 1.2 pts“Fell into a fantasy black hole. His yards were so few, they’re being studied by NASA.”

07. Throw That D/Ja'Marr Chase (WR, CIN) – 1.3 pts“Elite WR turned invisible. His routes were crisp, but his fantasy impact was a ghost story.”

08. Riders/Mark Andrews (TE, BAL) – 0.25 pts“Put up numbers that could be matched by a folding chair. At least the chair wouldn’t drop passes.”

09. Flying Gators/Isiah Pacheco (RB, KC) – 1.4 pts“Chiefs offense sputtered and Pacheco handed out fantasy disappointment like party favors.”

10. Roger's Witch/Tee Higgins (WR, CIN) – 1.65 pts“Washed out of the game plan like a forgotten dish towel. Fantasy managers are still checking to see if he played.”

That odor you smell, it is coming from the Western Division...

--BomB OuT

Pedro has worst week in history, 1 for 7 (.143). To say it was a funky week in fantasy football is an understatment. Here we go with Week II. This weeks prediction are brought to you by AEW's Megan Bayne, "The Megasus."

SPOKESMODEL	MATCHUP	PREDICTION
	vs	55 to 59: Mean Machine
	vs	55 to 57: Romsexual Tendencies
	vs	53 to 56: Ballbusters
	vs	55 to 45: Riders **
	vs	59 to 53: Mr. Hoffnuts
	vs	49 to 50: Dawgs
	vs	50 to 51: Rodger's Witch

** ESTRADIOL GAME OF THE WEEK

Zack's Facts

• JJ McCarthy is the first QB in NFL history to have 3 TDs in the 4th quarter of his NFL debut.
• The Bears now have more touchdowns on their opening drive this season (1) as they did all of last year.
• The Eagles opened as 1.5-point favorites over the Chiefs. …Mahomes will be a home underdog for only the second time in his NFL career.
• Caleb Williams recorded a -13% completion percentage over expectation, per NFL Next Gen Stats. A virtual tie with Bryce Young
   for the worst CPOE game of Week 1.
• Most career games with a TD run and a TD pass (playoffs included): Josh Allen 47 Cam Newton 46 Steve Young 38• Jahmyr Gibbs’ 31
   receiving yards is the fewest yards in a game ever on 10 receptions.
• Derrick Henry passes Jim Brown to be 6th all time in career Rush TDs. Henry in his last 18 games (inc. playoffs): 2,230 rush yds, 19 rush TDs,
   6.3 YPC. All after turning 30. Henry surpassed Steven Jackson to reach 18th all time in rushing yards. Henry and LaDainian Tomlinson are
   now tied with the most games (10) in history with at least 175 yards and 2 TDs
• Bobby Wagner led the way for the Commanders with 10 tackles, surpassing Junior Seau for the 3rd most combined tackles in a career, since the stat
   began being recorded.
• The Broncos defense held the Titans to -1 net yards of offense in the second half today. Pat Surtain II did not allow a catch as the nearest
   defender on his 34 coverage snaps for the 8th time in his career. He was targeted only once, breaking up his lone target. Surtain lined up against
   Calvin Ridley on 27 of his 32 routes (84%).
• The Ravens have now lost 8 games since the 2021 season in which they, at one point, had a win probability of at least 90%. That's three
   more than the next closest team. They are the first team to lose a game with 40+ points and 235+ rushing yards. They were 25-0 entering tonight
   in franchise history when they scored at least 40 points. They are now 25-1. John Harbaugh breaks his own record with his 10th blown
   double-digit 4th quarter lead (most in NFL since 1991)
• 6 Players scored 2 Rushing TDs this week.. 4 of them were QBs• Brandon Aubrey just from 50+ is currently the best career fg% in nfl history
• Stafford now has the 3rd most passing yards (4,954) in Week 1 in NFL history, passing Peyton Manning — he trails only Tom Brady (5,523) and
   Drew Brees (5,566). He also became the 10th player in NFL history to throw for at least 60,000 passing yards
• Josh Allen had more passing yards in the 4th quarter tonight than six teams’ total yards in their entire respective games.• Bills and Ravens have
   accomplished Scorigami, with the first 41-40 game in NFL history
• Brock Purdy was hit 8 times in yesterday's game against the Seahawks, the most quarterback hits he had endured since December 25, 2023, against
   the Ravens(9 QB hits) — both games against defenses coordinated by Mike MacDonald.
• NY Giants failed to score a touchdown in Week 1 for the third year in a row.
• Lamar Jackson recorded a 94.0 QBR in a losing effort. That's the highest QBR posted in a loss since Week 9 of 2022
   (Justin Fields vs. Dolphins, 96.2).
• Daniel Jones is the first QB to lead a scoring drive on every possession since 1991 (7-for-7).
• For the third year in a row, the Bengals have failed to reach 200 yards passing in the season opener. In two of these 3 years, they have finished with
   fewer than 100 net passing yards.
• 4 players in the top 20 of NFL Top 100 2025 played on the same college team: Ja’Marr Chase (1), Joe Burrow (6), Justin Jefferson (9), and
   Derek Stingley Jr (18) all played for LSU during the 2019-2020 season.

Marital Bliss

I blame my mother for my poor life in the bedroom. All she told me was, ‘The man goes on top and the woman underneath.’ For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds.” --Joan Rivers

Marriage is like Indian food. It starts hot and spicy but ends up with someone crying in the bathroom and regretting their choices.

What is the main difference between a remote and a G-spot? A guy will make his best effort to search for the remote.

Apple Blaze Ribs (exotic commissioner s#!t)

Rub & Prep For a Slab of St. Louis Style Pork Ribs (adjust amount of rub for size and qty as needed)
One aluminum Pan
One Rib Rack If Available (go buy one, they are worth it)
Vinegar Sauce (I recommend making your own, Myron Mixon has a good recipe)

For the Rub, Combine These:
5 tbsp PS Apple Pie Cinnamon Spice BBQ Rub
1 tsp Lemon Drop Pepper Powder (sub cayenne if unavailable)
2 tsp smoked paprika

Binder: Dukes mayonnaise

1. Take your slab, rinse and pat dry. Then remove the silver off the back, rub the ribs down with Dukes Mayo on both sides.

2, Take your rub and apply generously (hold your hand high over the meat for an even sprinkle). Lightly pat it in both sides.

3. Wrap the ribs tightly with cling wrab and set in a pan overnight to marinate.

Cooking Method:

1. Initial smoke: 275°F, uncovered, first 45 minutes on a rib rack in a pan.
2. Spritzing phase: After the first 45 min, spritz every 15 minutes with ½ water / ½ vinegar sauce until done with uncovered smoke stage (total 3 hours).
3. Pan wrap: Cover ribs in a pan with tinfoil and pour 1 cup of the same ½ water / ½ vinegar sauce in the pan.
4. Continue to smoke for 2 hours covered in pan → steams and tenderizes.
5. Final smoke: Return ribs to smoker uncovered for 1 hour to firm up the bark as the smoker burns out for the day...

Flavor Profile: Sweet from the Apple Pie rub - Zesty citrus heat from Lemon Drop pepper - Smoky depth from paprika - Tangy moisture from spritz and pan liquid - Tender ribs with slightly crisp bark and deep flavor penetration. -- Enjoy dry or wet.

**For wet, just apply bbq sauce during the time of the final smoke of 1 hour (hickory sauce is good).