THE ROLLINGSKULL, VOLUME 18, ISSUE 229 October 18, 2024 - Music by Prince, "I Could Never Take the Place of Your Man" (remastered)   Week VII Is Here      -  NY Gangstersr:  Could this Be the Year?      -  Cunning Linguists:  Kalish Still Breathing / His Recievers Need Mouth to Mouth      -  Ever Heard of Jocelyn Hudon?      -  Rider's Have a Chink in the Armor      -  For Romo, the Comeback Begins this Week      -  Dawgs Try to Shake the Shadow of their Mentor      -  Joe B Under Investigation for Trade Talk      -  Zack's Facts      As always, we appreciate your patronage.    E. A. Presley Editor and Chief of the RollingSkull

 

DIDDY TRIVIA:  FOOTBALL KNOWLEDGE FOR THE NEXT 25 YEARS TO LIFE Like Aaron Hernandez, before him-- It took us a while to replace OJ, but at last we found the right guy.  Introducing Diddy Trivia.  And away we go... Last week's question, "This linebacker and tight end was selected first overall by the Atlanta Falcons in the 1988 NFL Draft.  The answer was Aundray Bruce.  Aundray Bruce was selected first in the 1988 NFL Draft. He played for the Atlanta Falcons and the Los Angeles/ Oakland Raiders.  Bruce played in 151 games over his 11-season career, posting 32 sacks and 4 interceptions. While Bruce concluded his career with a 7-season tenure in Oakland, he is typically regarded as a draft bust. Despite being the #1 overall pick, he never made an All-Pro or Pro Bowl team, never had double-figure sack totals in a season, and only started 42 games. He only played for two playoff teams in his long career. This week' question is "This wide receiver was known by his nicknames: the "Human Joystick" and the "X-Factor." a.  Devin Hester b.  Dante Hall c.  Cris Carter d.  Sterling Sharpe This week's winners will be flown to the Jacksonville, FL for the Halloween premier of "Hotel Kalish."  This movie takes you on a trip where two recievers are drafted from the same team while an evil succubus takes hold of one of the best tight ends to play the game.  Combine this tragedy with an over-hyped wide reiever from Pittsburgh, and an fragile RB in Los Angeles... You have one evil SOB pulling the strings, Jeff Kalish...  "You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."  The only way out is the IR!

Pedro goes 5 for 7 in Week VI.  He is now 30 for 42 on the season, (714).  Week VII is brought to you by actress, Jocelyn Hudon of Chicago Fire. SPOKESMODEL                  MATCHUP PREDICTION   vs  49 to 52:  Rodger's Witch   vs  15 to 13:  Romosexual Tendencies   vs   50 to 54:  Midnight Riders   vs  44 to 45:  NTip  (jury split on this one)   vs  59 ty 34:  Throw That tD   vs  48 to 40:  Mr. Hoffnuts   vs  52 to 51:  Mean Machine  (another close one)

Zack's Fun Facts From Last Week   Caleb Williams is the first QB picked #1 overall to lead their team to a 4-2 start; all 4 of the Bears’ wins came against 4 (of 6) teams with 1 win; collectively their records are 4-18.  Browns are 0-26 on their last 26 3rd downs with Deshaun Watson under center; Jamarcus Russell lost -63.8 total EPA on dropbacks in Weeks 1-6 in 2009: it was the record low since at least 2000 before Watson (-66.2) this season; Browns still have $172,734,000 in cap charges on Watson’s deal; Browns have yet to score 20 points or eclipse 200 passing yards this year; Rodney McLeod is tied for the team lead in TDs with 2.  Jared Goff is the only QB since the merger to have a completion rate of >80.0% and a passer rating of >140.0 over any 3-game span (50 attempt minimum); Lions have scored 40 points in consecutive games for the first time since 1962.  NFC North is now the 1st division since realignment (2002) with all four teams each having at least 4 wins through six weeks; all 4 teams have a playoff spot right now and the only division in the NFL with all teams having a winning record.  Lions defeat the Cowboys 47-9: SCORIGAMI; it is the worst home loss for the Cowboys in AT&T Stadium; first time the Lions have beaten the Cowboys since Week 8 of 2013.  Jets-Giants are 4-31 in prime-time games since 2019.  Panthers are currently allowing 33.83 points per game which would be an NFL record if it holds.  Colts currently have three offensive linemen who are currently graded as a top-5 players at their position per PFF.  Atlanta becomes the last team this decade to win 3 consecutive games in a season.  Jordan Love is 2nd in passing TDs and 11th in passing yards despite missing two games.  Jim Harbaugh now has a 69% winning percentage after winning the 69th NFL game he has coached.  Bills-Jets game was the first game where each team had 10+ penalties and missed multiple kicks (FG or XP) since 1987 when the Bills and Giants did it in a game with replacement players.  Only three kickers have missed multiple FGs from 43 yards or shorter: Greg Zuerlein, Brayden Narveson, and Jason Sanders.  Bills have had a 2-game losing streak four years in a row: they are a combined 27-2 following those streaks.  Aaron Rodgers has now completed twice as many Hail Mary TDs in his career (4) as any other QB.  Joe Douglas is now 29-60 as GM of the Jets.  David Montgomery forced 10 missed tackles against the Cowboys on only 12 carries which is a missed tackle rate of 83.3%, highest record of any rusher this season (minimum 10 carries).  Scrimmage yard leaders on MNF: 1. Penalties (204); 2. Breece Hall (169); 3. Ray Davis (152).  Mike Evans has more 12-TD seaons (5) than fumbles (4) in his career.  Zach Wilson w/ Jets in 2023 through 6 games: 113 points.  Aaron Rodgers w/ Jets in 2024 through 6 games: 113 points.   Better Than Ozempic There is an overweight guy who is watching TV. A commercial comes on for a guaranteed weight loss of 10 pounds in a week. So, the guy, thinking what the hell, signs up for it. Next morning an incredibly beautiful woman is standing at his door in nothing but a pair of running shoes and a sign about her neck that reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me." As soon as he sees her, she takes off running. He tries to catch her but is unable. This continues for a week, at the end of which, the man has lost 10 pounds. After this he tries the next weight loss plan, 15 pounds in a week. The next morning an even more beautiful woman is standing at the door, in similar conditions. The same happens with her as the first woman, except he almost catches her. This continues for a week, at the end of which he, as suspected, weighs 15 pounds less. Excited about this success, he decides to do the master program. Before he signs up, he is required to sign a waiver and is warned about the intensity of this plan. Still, he signs up. The next morning, waiting at the door, is a hulking 300-pound muscle man with nothing but a pair of running shoes, a raging erection, and a sign around his neck that says, "If I catch you, you're mine!" The man was supposed to lose 25 pounds in the week; he lost 34.     Chai Spiced Ribs   This baby back rib recipe is inspired by fall flavors like maple syrup and apple cider and brine made from real Chai tea and spices. Sweet and savory…  Perfect for an autumn BBQ or as a game day appetizer!  These ribs need a minimum of 24 hours in the homemade Chai spiced brine, it is recommended to soak for up to 36 hours (using whole spices like cinnamon sticks and bay leaves instead of grounds and powders will give your brine - and your ribs - a fresher, more complex flavor). Ingredients 4 qts water 2 cups maple syrup 1 cup salt 2 tbsp chili flakes 4 lemons, halved 4 bay leaves 1/2 cup ginger, chopped 8 star anise 4 cinnamon sticks or 4 tsp ground cinnamon 1/2 cup garlic, chopped 20 bags Chai tea 2 sides baby back ribs 1/4 lb. butter, softened Maple syrup 2 cups apple cider Combine water, 2 cups maple syrup, salt, chili flakes, lemons, bay leaves, ginger, star anise, cinnamon, and garlic in a large sauce pot and bring to a boil. Then, remove from heat, add Chai tea bags, and let steep for 5-7 minutes. Strain your brine and cool to 40°F. To do this, let it come to room temperature and then chill the rest of the way in the fridge. Remove the membrane from your ribs with either a rep tool, or a butter knife and a paper towel. Place ribs in a full size aluminum pan and pour brine over the top. Cover with foil or plastic wrap and put in the fridge. Allow the ribs to brine for 24-36 hours. When you're ready to grill, remove ribs from brine and pat dry with paper towels. Preheat your pellet grill or smoker to 275°F. Coat the ribs with maple syrup, and add pepper and paprika. Place ribs on an upper rack and allow to smoke for 2 1/2 - 3 hours. Remove ribs from grill and coat with more maple syrup and melted butter. Place in another pan, add cider, and wrap the top with plastic wrap and foil. Place the ribs back on the grill and braise for 1 1/2 - 2 hours. Remove from the grill and let ribs rest for 10 minutes, Then, unwrap and coat with maple syrup and place back on the upper rack of the grill, unwrapped, for 15 minutes to set the glaze.