OFFL: RollingSKull Issue 227

OFFL: RollingSKull Issue 227

THE ROLLINGSKULL, VOLUME 18, ISSUE 227
September 20, 2024 - Music by Yung Joc, featuring Nitti, "It's Goin' Down"

Week Two Was Crazy Too
     - Joe Duct Tapes a Win
     - Jimmy Gets His Wish, Twice
     - Shrimp Poppers
     - Ballbusters and Viagara Dosing
     - Evan Engram an EJ, A Love Story
     - The Defending and Kicking Fitz
     - NTip Seen Lighting Candles for RB's at Mass
     - A Jake 3-Way Involes a Younghoe
     - Poor Zack, At Least He Has His Facts

As always, we appreciate your patronage.

E. A. Presley
Editor and Chief of the RollingSkull

With the passing of OJ, the estate auctioned off his last remaining trivia questions. We will utilize these questions while the OFFL looks for Simpson's replacement. UPDATE: We are curremtly in talks with Adrian Peterson. The hurdle right now is that he wants a cash advance...

Last week's question, "This defensive end was drafted first overall by the Indianapolis Colts in 1992, who was he?" The answer is Steve Emtman.

Steve Emtman was selected first by the Colts in 1992. He played for the Colts, Miami Dolphins and the Washington Redskins. His career was filled with injury troubles and he ended up only playing six seasons before retiring.

This week's question, "This Chicago Bears running back holds the record for the most touchdowns in a rookie season (with 22)."
a. Walter Payton
b. Matt Forte
c. Bronko Nagurski
d. Gale Sayers

This week's winner will fly to Tallhassee, FL for the screening of "American Underdog, The True Story." Ever wonder why a fantasy football manager would start players from bad teams? Because he believes in the power of “underdog” stories… and a lot of wishful thinking! The movie features all the starters from Romosexual Tendencies. Way to go Zack!

This week's checklist:

1. TRADE DEADLINE:  Trading will cease at 12:45pm eastern, Sunday, Week 9.

2. It is the responsibility of all owners to update their roster for Thursday (Fri/Sat) games. The remainder of the roster locks in at 12:59am on
     Sunday. This includes the Sunday late game players and Monday night players.

3. Available Apps for MyFantasyLeague (MFL)
       a. OFFL Game Day for PC, GAMEDAY APP. Use League ID 13439.
       b. MFL Premium for iPhone. League ID 13439
       c. MFL Platinum for Android. League ID 13439
            Side note: The home page scoreboard at tmes is faster if you like to refresh and drill down on each game individually.

4. Assistant Commissioner Jeff Kalish is Pete's backup in the event of a league emergency (i.e. go on the record, late moves, glitches, etc).
     If you need to time stamp with an email for debate later-- Jeff's email is jeff.kalish@xsitedigital.com and Pete's is plpurvis@bellsouth.net.

5. This week's NFL Schedule:

MATCHUP		TIME	TV	Location / Weather
Thursday, September 19, 2024
New England	@ New York	8:15 PM	Prime	MetLife Stadium, East Rutherford, NJ

Sunday, September 22, 2024
New York	@ Cleveland	1:00 PM	FOX	Huntington Bank Field, Cleveland, OH
Green Bay	@ Tennessee	1:00 PM	FOX	Nissan Stadium, Nashville, TN
Chicago	@ Indianapolis	1:00 PM	CBS	Lucas Oil Stadium, Indianapolis, IN
Houston	@ Minnesota	1:00 PM	CBS	U.S. Bank Stadium, Minneapolis, MN
Philadelphia	@ New Orleans	1:00 PM	FOX	Caesars Superdome, New Orleans, LA
Los Angeles	@ Pittsburgh	1:00 PM	CBS	Acrisure Stadium, Pittsburgh, PA
Denver	@ Tampa Bay	1:00 PM	FOX	Raymond James Stadium, Tampa, FL
Carolina	@ Las Vegas	4:05 PM	CBS	Allegiant Stadium, Las Vegas, NV
Miami	@ Seattle	4:05 PM	CBS	Lumen Field, Seattle, WA
Baltimore	@ Dallas	4:25 PM	FOX	AT&T Stadium, Arlington, TX
San Francisco	@ Los Angeles	4:25 PM	FOX	SoFi Stadium, Inglewood, CA
Detroit	@ Arizona	4:25 PM	FOX	State Farm Stadium, Glendale, AZ
Kansas City	@ Atlanta	8:20 PM	NBC/Peacock	Mercedes-Benz Stadium, Atlanta, GA

Monday, September 23, 2024
Jacksonville	@ Buffalo	7:30 PM	ESPN	Highmark Stadium, Orchard Park, NY
Washington	@ Cincinnati	8:15 PM	ABC/ESPN+	Paycor Stadium, Cincinnati, OH

An the Academy Award for being the first defense to score in the negative for 2024 goes to... Wait! We have a tie!
     - Blitzburgh with the Eagles D     AND     Romosexual Tendencies with the Dallas D
     - Both D's produced a -1 each.
     - Dont worring Chucky, the -2 that MIA left on your bench doesn't count.
Congratulations to both owners. We think that its more than a coincidence that the helmets of both these teams resemble those who have seen their best days past by long ago...

Thats enough with the Zack jokes. When you get down the nut cutting, we should be giving Kalish more shit. This one is easy to place in perspective, Ballbusters are at the top with 141pts season-to-date. Cunning Linguists have 78pts season-to-date. Ain't that a bitch.

Jimmy got his wish. Yeah, Riders lost! You go Jimmy! Oh, did he wish for himself to lose too? That negative scoring Blizburgh defense did Jimmy in.

NTip's inability to pull off the upset vs the Dawgs is not an issue for Patrick to worry about... Always look forward I say... You may not want to look forward here. NTip can only hope Achane can survive without a starting QB. NTip without Achane would lose 43.235% of their scoring ability.

Um EJ... EJ honey... Hey, Baby... Wake the F%C< Up! Evan Fn Egram? You starting him this week, right?

Rogers Witch makes a comeback last week. Malik, Nico, and Younghoe in a high scoring 3-Way. Wait! Malik Willis learned to play QB for a week, who knew.

Ballbusters blow up again last week. While I can see a Kamara comeback season if healthy, I cannot see 25pts a game every week. I think your shit is about to get earthbound. But lets give credit where credit is due. You did have the "long game" instinct to pick up Hunt when the rest of this damn league with "experienced owners" went elsewhere or did nothing.

The rest of ya, I don't know. I need a drink.

BomB OuT!

Pedro goes 4 for 7 in Week Two. He is now 9 for 14 on the season, (643). Not bad. Week Three is brought to you by model and Aaron Rodgers' lastest, Mallory Edens.

SPOKESMODEL	MATCHUP	PREDICTION
	vs	54 to 44: Ballbusters
	vs	58 to 53: Midnight Riders
	vs	55 to 54: Midnight Dawgs (close, either way)
	vs	58 to 54: Flyng Gators
	vs	55 ty 54: Mean Machine (another close one)
	vs	50 to 52: NTip
	vs	57 to 53: Fanatics

Zack's Fun Facts From Last Week

Giants are 2nd team in history to score 3 TDs, allow 0 TDs and lose.

Current top 5 PFF passing grades: Derek Carr, Kyler Murray, Sam Darnold, Aaron Rodgers, Justin Fields.

Panthers are officially 2-17 in the Bryce Young era; they have the worst record in the NFL since David Tepper bought them.

57 QBs started a season 2-0 from 2017-23; 39 made the playoffs; Derek Carr is the only QB to miss the playoffs more than once in that scenario: 2017, 2020, 2023.

D'Andre Swift has faced 8+ defenders in the box on just 8.33% of his runs (5th lowest); he has 48 rushing yards on 24 carries.

Jalen Hurts is 2-7 in his last 9 starts.

Cowboys gave up 35 points in the first half: a franchise record.

Jets 2013 2nd round pick Geno Smith: 97.4 rating, 2-0. Jets 2018 1st round pick Sam Darnold: 111.7 rating, 2-0. Jets 2021 1st round pick Zach Wilson: ???

Andy Reid has 130 regular season wins with two teams; no other coach in history has reached 100 wins with two teams.

Baker Mayfield and Sam Darnold since leaving Carolina: 46 TDs - 14 INTs; they had 22 TDs - 19 INTs with the Panthers.

Alvin Kamara has 10 TDs in his last 7 quarters against Mike Zimmer.

Bryce Young was pressured on just 4 of 29 dropbacks in Week 2, the lowest rate of any starting QB.

The Falcons had just a 0.7% chance of winning with 1:56 left in the 4th quarter, according to the NGS win probability model; it is the 7th-most improbable win in the NGS era (since 2016).

Saints beat the Cowboys 44-19: SCORIGAMI.

Ravens are 2 games under .500 for the first time since 2015.

Braelon Allen is the youngest player to score a scrimmage TD since Arnie Herber in 1930 at the exact same age (20 years, 239 days).

Saints have had 11 drives this season with Derek Carr at QB and scored on all 11 with 7 TDs and 4 FGs.

Rookie TE Brock Bowers leads all TEs in yards and receptions (he has 13 receptions: most for a rookie TE through 2 games).

Teams with a former Panthers starting QB on their roster are a combined 9-2 to start the season.

John Harbaugh now has most blown double-digit leads in 4th quarter of any coach since 1991 (9).

Travis Kelce’s 113 consecutive game streak of at least 3+ receptions was snapped.

Since benching Russell Wilson to quote “get a spark offensively” the Broncos have averaged 14 ppg; with Wilson as QB they averaged 19 ppg in losses and 22 ppg overall.

Jaguars are 1-7 since Week 13 of 2023 (tied with Panthers).

Packers had 164 rushing yards in the 1st quarter.

Bryce Young completed 18 passes for 84 yards; that is a NFL single-game record for most completions in history for under 100 passing yards.

Tepper since saying “It’s time for me to put my stamp on the football side of things” after firing Ron Rivera in 2019: 6 Head Coaches, 9 Starting QBs, 19-54
W-L Record.

Rumors Abound: Will rumors of Keanu Reaves in a Star Wars movie ever become true?

Certain circles of the Star Wars fandom are ablaze, as a poster for a supposed Keanu Reeves-led Darth Revan movie has made its way online. Rumors of the film began to spread after the alleged piece of movie marketing, which featured Reeves dressed in Sith garb and holding a red lightsaber, appeared on social media. The poster seems to suggest the film would simply be called Revan and would be released sometime in 2027 starring the Matrix actor in the titular role.

Revan (aka Darth Revan) originates from Electronic Arts and Bioware's series of Knights of the Old Republic (KOTOR) Star Wars video games from the early 2000s.The beloved Sith lord, along with the rest of the KOTOR story, was deemed Legends when Disney bought Lucasfilm and all of its IP in 2012, and fans have wanted the character to be brought into the official Star Wars canon ever since.However disappointing it may be, the Reeves-led Revan project is not real, and the poster seems to be the work of a fan daydreaming about the legendary actor joining the franchise to play the beloved Legends character.

The reason this poster took hold of the Star Wars faithful so quickly, is that Reeves has long been circling the beloved sci-fi franchise and fans have been vocal about wanting the actor to hop aboard.

Shrimp Stuffed Jalapenos

Easy cheesy tasty shrimp jalapeno poppers! The shrimp dip filling is good on its own with chips or crackers. These stuffed jalapenos with shrimp are a perfect party finger food for game watching, tailgating, and entertaining.

6 oz canned tiny shrimp drained
8 oz cream cheese room temperature
1 tsp Old Bay seafood seasoning
4 oz shredded sharp cheddar cheese
½ tsp dried minced onion
1 pinch kosher salt
16 jalapenos sliced in half, seed and ribs removed.

Instructions

Heat oven to 400°F.

In a medium mixing bowl, use a fork to combine the shrimp, cheeses, and seasonings. Stuff the jalapenos and place on bake sheet. Bake at 400°F for 20 minutes or until jalapenos are soft and filling is lightly browned.

Take care not to overstuff the jalapenos as the filling will swell as it cooks and can run out of the peppers. Leftover dip can be spread in a pie plate or small bake dish and heated in the oven or microwave. Serve with tortilla chips or crackers.