The 2024 draft is behind us, where do I begin.  Running water, eletricity and internet continue to be a rare luxuring for some.

One owner couldn't log in while another couldn't stay logged in...  To generate power, the Ballbusters and Linguists buy their hamster wheels from the same pet store.

One owner couldn't read or either can't count...  After this weekend, Chucky knows the difference between 14 rounds and 17 rounds in a draft.

One owner appears to be a time traveler, chasing 2023 points.  A day late traveler at best.  We will call him Jimmy. 

Oh yeah, wtf is up with the Sponge Bob Square Pants team, "No This Is Patrick?"   Talk about the bottom of the barrel  on team names....  Much better team names were still available:

                                            - Lobster Juice     - Alien Butt Plug     - My Dog's Diggleberry     - TBD By My Wife      - We Suck     - Don't Call Me Patrick     
                                            - Fantasy Laxatives     - It's Patrick If You are Nasty     - FL Gangsters     - Jimmy Really Sux     - Smega     - Penn State    
                                            - Buffalo Toilet Water     - WTF     - Jayden Daniels Experience     - All Drink for Free     - Jared's Subs     - My Little Ponies    
                                            - Swifties     - Sponge Bob Birth Control     - Bad Septic Tank     - Last Place     - Dingleberries from My Neighbor's Poodle's Ass    
                                            - Drinking Bath Water     - Knight's of Bust Table     - Last Place Again      - Bye Week

 I digress.  Here are this year's Draft Rankings.

                                        

Before we go through the  "Hows and Whys," don't trip out too bad as the models have most teams in the 7-6 or 6-7 range for the season.  The draft scores were really close using three different models.

     Fantatics:  Other than RB Brian Robinson, you took every other player too early-- Way before their Avg Ranking or ADP.  Hope that shit doesn't carry
     over into the boudior.   Looking at 5 & 8 without working waivers.

     Throw That tD:  A nice RB stable, your WR/TE is suspect.  Two other models have you ranked at #4 if your risks at WR pay off.  Looking at 7 & 6 right now.  
     One positive, you will soon be happy that CMC didn't fall to you if not already...

     Blitzburgh:  Not a bad draft, the model is not as high on Caleb Williams as you were.  The model hates where you took your WR's. Maybe if you had joined
     the Teams Call, you could have picked up a lesson or two.  Before waivers, you are looking at 6 & 7.

     Midnight Dawgs:  Pulling the band-aid off-->  Your are almost unable to run a two RB set if you wanted to and you are  anchored with a rookie WR.  Looking
     at 6 & 7 right now.  If Corum pops, then things look up from there.

     Mean Machine:  Should have been working on your WR's depth instead of a backup QB, D, or K.  That said, with Stroud and Henry carrying the load, looking
     at 7 & 6  right now.

     NY Gangsters:  If this were 2023, this team would be Elite!  You chased too many points and your WR's are going to need tape and flex seal to hold on. 
     Adding insult it injury, you wasted four draft picks on waiver wire players (Williams, McCaffery, Downs, and McLaughlin).  6 & 7 is being kind here.

     Romosexual Tendencies:  The models rank you 8, 7, and 1.  WR depth is what is killing you a little.  Not sure why London, Kirk and Andrews don't get
     much love.  That said, you are looking like an 8 & 5 team by the majority.

     No, This is Patrick:  I am calling you NTip the rest of the way.  Only because I don't want to type your f'n name every week.  The models were too hard on 
     Zack and not hard enough your team.  You chase points as bad as Jimmy, I guess they teach that in S. Florida?  Starting in round 3, you started picking guys
     at 20+ spots early for the next 6 rounds.  You are staring 4 & 9 in the face if you dont' get some help.

     Hoffnuts:  Dude, we ran the last model above after you picked up your D and K.  It didn't move the bar...  Congrats on Gibbs, Hurts, and Stevenson and
     congrats on being with the other 7&6 teams.  You need WR help like Tom Cruise needs to find God.

     Ballbusters:  Maybe you and the Fanatics can go in on a HIMS prescription of something. From the 3rd round on, it was early, I mean early with your draft
     picks.  Need some help at WR.  Kupp better have some Geritol on hand while Diggs better make friends fast at QB-->  There may not be enough to go around. 
     Seeing 5 & 8 right now.

     Midnight Riders:  As of Monday, your number one pick ain't practiced yet and trying to be funny with an early K cost you WR depth. 
     Welcome to the 7 & 6 to 6 & 7 range.

     Cunning Linguists:  You have possibly the fugliest RB group of  the bunch (Jones, Edward, Chubb).  I don't think your computer locked up,
     I think you crawled into a fetal postiion when you looked at your draft sheet.  While the model loves your WR depth, scoring at the QB and RB is going
     to be a bitch.  Pray for a 4 & 9 season.

     Flying Gators:  The models say you have a top 5 team. This is  while you could not capitalize on the turn.  You will be running some ugly sets if you try to run
     three WR's.  No to sound morbid, Pearsal getting shot should help with Aiyuk because he wasn't worth top money.  Sometimes having the number one pick is just
     enough regardless of the choices made.  Your are projecting to be 7 & 6.

     Rodger's Witch:  Did Jake call his shot?  He did say his trophy was the next in line.  He will be married to three receiver sets and Jordan Love remains
     over-rated until proven otherwise.  If  Love comes through and Pollard surprises, Jake rolls thru his division at 8 &5.

     So...  Zack and Jake are the only pretty girls at the dance right now...  Get your make-up out boyz!

BomB OuT!