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 THE
ROLLINGSKULL, VOLUME 17, ISSUE 215October 13, 2023, Music by Van Halen, "Light Up the Sky" Week Six - Kalish and Doychak Battle for Supremacy - Fish and Blackbirds, Not Sure What They Battle For - McCaffrey Shows His Game Off the Field - The Importance of Kickers - And Zack's Facts As always, we appreciate your patronage. E. A. Presley Editor and Chief of the RollingSkull |
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This week's checklist: 1. The widgets for the homepage scoreboard, transaction page, and team pages are fixed. Just always remember to refresh when in doubt. If you have any issues, let Pete know, thanks. 2. Read the rules. Read the rules. Read the rules. 3. TRADE DEADLINE: Trading will cease at 12:45pm eastern, Sunday, Week 9. 4. It is the responsibility of all owners to update their roster for Thursday games. The remainder of the roster locks in at 12:59am on Sunday. This includes the Sunday late game players and Monday night players. 5. Available Apps for MyFantasyLeague (MFL) a. OFFL Game Day for PC, GAMEDAY APP. Use League ID 13439. b. MFL Premium for iPhone. League ID 13439 c. MFL Platinum for Android. League ID 13439 Side note: The home page scoreboard at tmes is faster if you like to refresh and drill down on each game individually. 6. Assistant Commissioner Jeff Kalish is Pete's backup in the event of a league emergency (i.e. go on the record, late moves, glitches, etc). If you need to time stamp with an email for debate later-- Jeff's email is jeff.kalish@xsitedigital.com and Pete's is plpurvis@bellsouth.net. 7. This week's NFL Schedule:
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Simply hidieous last week, 2 for 7. This leaves Pedro 18 for 35, still batting at 514 for the season. This week's picks are brought to you by Christian McCaffrey's fiance and former Miss Universe, Olivia Culpo (unfortunately she does not have a degree in nursing or medicine).
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After calling Nathaniel Hackett’s coaching tenure “(…) one of the worst coaching jobs in the history of the NFL,” Sean Payton lost to a Jets team that had Nathaniel Hackett at offensive coordinator and Zach Wilson at QB. Jalen Hurts has led the Eagles to 11 straight road wins, the only other QBs to ever do that are Patrick Mahomes Tom Brady, Peyton Manning, and Tony Romo. Patrick Mahomes has defeated all 31 teams in the NFL, the 10th QB to do so but the 1st to do it prior to turning 30. DJ Moore already has accumulated more receiving yards than any Bears player had the entirety of last season. The top-7 fastest ball carriers this season are all Miami Dolphins: Tyreek Hill (3x), Achane (3x), and Raheem Mostert (1x); all runs by the listed players were >21.5 mph. Sam LaPorta has as many career touchdowns as Kyle Pitts. Dolphins have more total yards (2,568) in their 1st five games than any team in history surpassing the 2000 St. Louis Rams aka the Greatest Show on Turf. Patriots decided to punt to Saints from the Saints’ 40 on 4th & 3 with 9:48 remaining in the 3rd quarter while down 24-0; with a Surrender Index of 39.71, this punt ranks at the 99.6th percentile of cowardly punts of the 2023 season, and the 98th percentile of all punts since 1999. Desmond Ridder is undefeated at home in the NFL as well as his entire NCAA career. Colts are 3-0 when Gardner Minshew takes a majority of snaps and 0-2 when Anthony Richardson does. 
announced redesigned PS5 arrives in November, is 30% smaller and weighs
anywhere from 18% to 24% less depending on which model you pick.
For months, Sony had been expected to release a new slimmer PS5.
And that's exactly what's happening, although right now the price
doesn't seem to be dropping. In fact, for the digital version, it's going up by $50. This new PS5 has an optional snap-on Ultra HD Blu-ray drive, meaning you could choose to upgrade a new digital model with disc function later on. That's great news on decision-making FOMO. The new PS5 with disc drive is $500, and the digital-only model is $450, while the Ultra HD Blu-ray drive on its own will cost $80. While the updated PS5 with a Blu-ray drive is the same price as the current model, the new digital-only PS5 is $50 more expensive. The new PS5s do come with larger 1TB hard drives. Both models will come packaged with a horizontal stand for laying the systems flat. If you want to stand the console upright, you'll need to buy a separate vertical stand for $30. Console covers will also make a return, although with a new design to match the updated form factor. Starting in early 2024, PS5 owners can choose from an all-matte black, volcanic red, cobalt blue or sterling silver cover colors priced at $55. Sony's already having a big hardware year for PlayStation, with the PSVR 2 launching back in February and a second-screen controller handheld accessory, PlayStation Portal, also arriving in November. Sony hasn't mentioned a specific launch date for the redesigned models but mentioned that the current stock of older PS5s will be gradually replaced with the newer slimmer models. Jokes for the Road (we normally stay away from political jokes, but...) Donald Trump, King Charles, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell. While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for. The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth. Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so Putin writes him a check. Next King Charles calls England and talks for 30 minutes. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is 6 million dollars, so he writes him a check.  Finally, Donald Trump gets his turn and talks for 4 hours. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is $5.00. When Putin hears this he goes ballistic and asks the devil why Trump got to call the USA so cheaply. The devil smiles and replies: “Since Biden took over, the country has gone to hell, so it’s a local call.” TAILGATING WITH MISTRESS BIANCA Emeril’s Oven Roasted Chicken Wings “You won’t have to clean the fryer or hide from your doctor. … Need I say more?” —Emeril Lagasse 4 pounds chicken wings, wing tips removed, separated at the joints 1/4 cup fresh squeezed lemon juice 1 tablespoon freshly ground black pepper 1 tablespoon garlic powder 1 tablespoon onion powder 2 teaspoons salt 2 teaspoons dried thyme 1/2 teaspoon cayenne 4 tablespoons butter, melted Your favorite sauce, for serving, such as barbecue sauce, ranch dressing, or blue cheese dressing, optional Line large rimmed baking sheet with aluminum foil. In large mixing bowl, combine wings and lemon juice and mix thoroughly. Add pepper, garlic powder, onion powder, and salt. While crushing between your fingers, add thyme. Mix again and add cayenne and butter. Mix thoroughly, then transfer wings to baking sheet and arrange in one layer. Roast in oven for 10 minutes, rotate pan and cook 10 minutes longer until wings are nicely browned and cooked through. Serve alone or with your favorite dipping sauce.
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We
heard that the Juice needed some work to cover his green fees since
becoming a free man in 2021. Given the OFFL's long history of
supporting retired athletes, we are here to help with trivia provided by
O.J. Simpson. Last week's
