THE ROLLINGSKULL, VOLUME 17, ISSUE 214 September 29, 2023, Music by Raconteurs, "Salute Your Solution"          Week Four      -  Kalish Should Not be Undefeated      -  E.J. Should Not be the #2 Team in the League.      -  Blitz and Hoffnuts, Just Empty Vessels.      -  Fighting Fish Need a Change      -  And Jimmy Still Sucks As always, we appreciate your patronage.   E. A. Presley Editor and Chief of the RollingSkull

 

We heard that the Juice needed some work to cover his green fees since becoming a free man in 2021.  Given the OFFL's long history of supporting retired athletes, we are here to help with trivia provided by O.J. Simpson.  Last week's question, "In 1990, which of these players broke the record for the most sacks in a single game (with 7)?"  The answer is KC's Derrick Thomas. Derrick Thomas holds the record for the most sacks in a single game with 7. This came during the Kansas City Chiefs’ win against the Seattle Seahawks in 1990. This seems like another record that will be extremely difficult to break. This week's question is "Who finished their career with more regular-season MVP award wins, Brett Favre or Joe Montana?" This week's winners will recieve tickes to Jeff Kalish's Mind Freak.  Watch how Jeff manages a team to the top league with just one "Top Forty" player.  Even more impressive is that his one "Top Forty" player is a kicker, Tyler Bass.  Prepare to have your mind blown way as he levitates a sub par team to 4 & 0!

Pedro had another rough week going 4 for 7.  This leaves him 16 for 28, still batting 571 for the season.  This week's picks are brought to you by Taylor Swift.  We haven't seen her in a while... SPOKESMODEL                  MATCHUP PREDICTION   vs    61 to 60:  Midnigt Riders    vs    54 to 53:  Mean Machine **    vs    62 to 45:  Midnight Dawgs    vs    62 to 59:  Blackbirds   vs    55 to 57:  Flying Gators    vs   63 to 60:  Cunning Linguists    vs   22 to 58:  Fanatics   ** "Estradiol Game of the Week"

Fun Facts of the Week Khalil Mack is the 2nd player (Derrick Thomas) in history to have two 5+ sack games; he is the 5th player to record 6 sacks in a game.  Christian McCaffrey broke Jerry Rice’s 49ers team record with his 13th straight game with a TD.  49ers are the first team in 10 years to score 30 points in seven straight regular season games.  Joe Burrow is on pace for 3,094 passing yards, 58% completion rate, 11-11 TD-INT ratio, and a 69.1 passer rating; he is the first QB to attempt at least 150 passes in his team’s first 4 games of a season and average fewer than 5 yards per attempt.  The Vikings have turned the ball over on the goal line in each of their four games so far.  Patriots 38-3 loss to Dallas is the worst loss in Bill Belichek’s 29-year head coaching career.  Second straight week the opposing QB started 16-for-16 against the Broncos; the Broncos currently have the worst DVOA through 4 games ever recorded.  113 of David Montgomery’s 121 rushing yards came AFTER contact.  28 CBS stations begged to be switched to Dolphins-Bills instead of the game they were assigned: the request was granted.  NBC announced that the Chiefs-Jets game averaged 27 million viewers making it the most-watched show since the Super Bowl. Octobeer Prime Days! October Prime Day Deals Under $25 You Can Shop Now.  Grab some early holiday gifts (or treats for yourself) without spending a fortune during Amazon's Prime Big Deal Days sale.  You don't have to spend a ton of money to participate in Amazon's October Prime Day. With plenty of deals under $25, you can grab yourself a few treats or stock up on holiday gifts early without breaking the bank. And though the official Prime Big Deal Days event doesn't kick off for a few days yet, the deals are already flowing.  We're rounding up our favorite October Prime Day deals under $25 across several product categories.  Echo Dot (5th gen): $23 (save $27) Echo Dot (5th gen) + Kasa smart plug: $24 (save $49) Fire TV Stick Lite: $18 (save $12) Fire TV Stick: $20 (save $20) Echo Glow: $17 (save $13) Tile Slim Bluetooth tracker: $25 (save $10) Anker 332 USB-C hub: $16 (save $19) TP-Link AC750 Wi-Fi extender: $15 (save $20) Kasa Smart Plug Mini (4-pack): $22 (save $8) Iniu portable power bank: $16 (save $20) Logitech F310 wired gamepad controller: $17 (save $8) Oontz Angle Solo Bluetooth speaker: $20 (save $10) BIC Round Stic Xtra Life ballpoint pens (144 count): $12 (save $8) Sharpie permanent markers (36 count): $21 (save $4) Pilot FriXion ColorSticks erasable gel ink stick pens (16-pack): $20 (save $9) Post-It sticky note pads (6-pack): $6 (save $6) Waterdrop 200-gallon water filter pitcher: $17 (save $4) Seropy roll-up dish drying rack: $8 (save $5) Jisulife handheld mini fan: $14 (save $11) Aqua Original 4-in-1 Monterey XL hammock pool float: $22 (save $5) SodaStream glass carbonating carafe (3-pack): $9 (save $9) Martha Stewart 4-piece potholder set: $15 (save $18) Aroma Housewares 6-cup rice cooker: $17 (save $14) | Blood pressure monitor: $20 (save $13) Renpho smart jump rope: $17 (save $13) RestCloud neck and shoulder relaxer: $20 (save $10) The Original Body Roller foam roller: $24 (save $16) Jokes for the Road Bob called home one afternoon to see what his wife was making for dinner. "Hello?" said a little girl's voice. "Hi, honey, it's Daddy," said Bob. "Is mommy near the phone?" "No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with uncle Frank." After a brief pause, Bob said, "But you don't have an Uncle Frank, honey!" "Yes I do. He's upstairs in the bedroom with Mommy!" "Okay, then. Here's what I want you to do. Put down the phone, run upstairs, knock on the bedroom door and shout in to Mommy and Uncle Frank that my car just pulled up outside the house." "Okay, Daddy!" A few minutes later, the little girl came back to the phone. "Well, I did what you said, Daddy." "And what happened?" "Well, Mommy jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming, then she tripped over the rug and went out the front window and now she's all dead." "Oh my god! What about Uncle Frank?" "He jumped out of bed with no clothes on too and he was all scared and he jumped out the back window into the swimming pool, but he must have forgot that you took out all the water last week to clean it, so he hit the bottom of the swimming pool, and now he's dead too." There was a long pause, then Bob said, "Swimming pool? Is this 555-7039?" TAILGATING WITH MISTRESS BIANCA   Cranberry Pecan Cheese Ball HOW TO MAKE A CHEESE BALL It all starts with an 8 oz bar of cream cheese (can substitute goat cheese if desired), 1 cup shredded cheddar or mozzarella cheese (this isn’t written in stone so any kind of your favorite melting cheese should work), chives (or parsley or green onions or dried herbs), chopped dried cranberries, chopped pecans or walnuts, and a pinch of garlic powder.  Simply combine all these ingredients in a large bowl and shape into a ball or log with your hands or with plastic wrap. Roll into a mixture of chopped pecans, cranberries, and chives and serve with crackers and YOUR DONE! simple place on the table and let your guest do the work from here.  Ingredients 8 ounces cream cheese 1 cup white sharp cheddar cheese shredded 1 cup dried cranberries chopped and divided 1 cup Fisher’s Nuts pecans chopped and toasted *optional 1/4 cup chives or green onions chopped ½ tsp garlic powder Instructions To Toast Pecans: Pre-heat oven to 375F. Place chopped pecans on a baking tray and bake for 5 minutes or until aromatic. Remove from oven and set aside. In a large bowl, beat cream cheese, cheddar cheese, ½ toasted pecans, ½ cup dried cranberries, chive or green onion, and garlic powder until well combined. Place mixture in the center of a piece of plastic wrap or parchment paper and cover completely with wrap while forming it into a ball shape. Place in fridge until ready to serve. Just before serving, combine remaining ½ cup pecans, ½ dried cranberries, and 2 tablespoon chives on a flat surface or cutting board. Unwrap the ball and roll in cranberry-pecan mixture. Serve with crackers, pita chips, pretzels, carrots or celery.