THE ROLLINGSKULL, VOLUME 17, ISSUE 212 September 22, 2023, Music by Willow, "Ur a Stranger" (At Least You Could Do Is Find Someone Else)          Week Three Is Upon Us      -  The IR Is Getting Crowded, Find Someone Else      -  Familial Disease, Scrubitis:  GoFundMe Set for Blackbirds & Fighting Fish      -  Jimmy On Top of the World (for a little while)      -  The Mean Machine Doesn't Have a Chubb      -  Rider Runningbacks Just Don't Have the Balls ("carried" to gain 50+ yds)      -  Mistress Bianca with Good Ole Creole      -  Rodger's Witch: Ayahuasca Can't Cure a First Round Bust      -  Fanatics Are Fairing Better Than The Bears for a Change As always, we appreciate your patronage.   E. A. Presley Editor and Chief of the RollingSkull

 

We heard that the Juice needed some work to cover his green fees since becoming a free man in 2021.  Given the OFFL's long history of supporting retired athletes, we are here to help with trivia provided by O.J. Simpson.  Last week's question, "Who finished their career with more picks, Deion Sanders or Ed Reed?  The answer is Ed Reed. Ed Reed finished his career with 64 total interceptions. Deion Sanders was fairly close but only had 53.  Reed announced his retirement on May 6, 2015, signing a one day contract on May 7 to retire as a Baltimore Raven.   Reed was elected to the Pro Football Hall of Fame on February 2, 2019, his first year of eligibility. He was the third homegrown Raven who achieved the sport's highest career recognition.  He was named to the NFL 100 All Time Team. This week's question is for all you AGT fans, "Terry Crews was selected in the 11th round of the 1991 Draft. Which team picked him? a.  Redskins b.  Ravens c.  Raiders d.  Rams This week's winner will a one year subscription to History +.  Their number one show, ANCIENT ALIENS will cover the Blackbirds after Michael H. files a missing person's report on Ja'Marr Chase who has been missing for almost a month.  After further examination, they find that alien interference could be a familial trait!  --Robert  H.'s QB, Justin Fields has appeared robotic on the field... This is Alien Technology that has been misinterpreted as poor fantasy play!  Is such thing possible?  Yes it is!  - Giorgio A.  Tsoukalos

Pedro is 4 for 7.  This leaves him 9 for 14, batting 643.  This week's picks are brought to you by actress Monica Barbaro from Top Gun Maverick and FUBAR.  Here we go with Week III. SPOKESMODEL                  MATCHUP PREDICTION   vs    62 to 55:  Fanatics    vs    59 to 64:  Mean Machine    vs    62 to 61:   Throw That tD    vs    49 to 59:  Flying Gators   vs    55 to 51:  Mr. Hoffnuts   vs   54 to 47:  Romosexual Tendencies **    vs   57 to 53:  Midnight Riders   ** "Estradiol Game of the Week"

Fun Facts of the Week Joe Burrow had a 0.0 passer rating on passes thrown 15+ yards Week 2 and has yet to complete a ball of 15+ yards all season.  Matt Eberflus is 3-16 has head coach of the Bears and currently has the worst winning percentage of any Bears head coach in history.  Aaron Rodgers had one 3 pass TD games last year, Jordan Love already has two 3 pass TD games.  Last time the Commanders were 2-0: Rex Grossman was their QB.  Bill Belichek and the Patriots are 0-2 for the first time since 2001.  The NFC North lost all games this week, three of which were against bird teams.  Rams WR Puka Nacua broke the record for the most catches by a player in his first 2 games. Miles Sanders contract: $6.35 million Gainwell, Swift, Scott, Penny: $6.009 million (combined). Vikings have not won a Thursday night football game on the road in 45 years.  Josh Jacobs finished with -2 yards on 9 rushes which is the first time since the 1970 merger a reigning NFL rushing champ finished a game with negative rush yardage.  CJ Stroud is officially the first QB from Ohio State to throw for 380+ yards and has more 300+ yard passing games than Justin Fields.  Chiefs set a record for most consecutive games without losing by more than 4 points - 35 games (2021-2023) Microsoft Copilot Brings AI to Windows 11, Works Across Multiple Apps and Your Phone   At Microsoft's AI and Surface event on Thursday, the software giant announced a new product, Copilot, which it calls "your everyday AI companion." Copilot will be included in the next major Windows 11 update, scheduled for Sept. 26, with Yusuf Mehdi, Microsoft vice president, saying it's the most significant update to the operating system thus far.  Microsoft says that whether you're using Word, PowerPoint or Edge, you can call on Copilot to assist you with various tasks.    Microsoft's evolution in AI comes after it invested heavily in OpenAI, creator of ChatGPT, earlier this year. ChatGPT launched last year and quickly went viral, with the AI chatbot proving adept at answering nearly any question with a novel response.  Edge, Microsoft's web browser, will also have Copilot integrations. Specifically, Microsoft highlighted features for shopping to find the best deals or using pictures on your phone to find similar products online, similar to Google Lens.  For more information, click here. IF ANYONE IS INTERESTED If anyone is interested... A friend of mine has two tickets for the 2024 Super Bowl, both box seats. He paid $11,500 each. It comes with ride to and from the airport, lunch, dinner and $400.00 bar tab. Also a back stage pass to the winners locker room. He didn’t realize last year when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding. If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place… It’s at St Paul’s Church, in Orlando on February 11th at 3pm. Her name is Ashley. She’s 5’4″, about 115 lbs, and a good cook too. She loves to fish and hunt. She’ll be the one in the white dress. TAILGATING WITH MISTRESS BIANCA CREOLE GUMBO Serves 10  //  Hands-on 55 minutes  //  Total 3 hours, 55 minutes With deep, rich flavors—including smokiness and a hint of spice from the poblano chile—and just thick enough with its chunky sausage, shrimp, and okra, this dish is everything you want in a gumbo and a guaranteed success for game days at LSU’s Death Valley. You can make this gumbo up to 2 days in advance and reheat in a slow cooker at your tailgate site. 1 pound andouille sausage, cut into 1⁄2-inch-thick slices 1⁄3 cup (about 2 1⁄2 ounces) salted butter 2 tablespoons bacon drippings 1⁄2 cup (about 2 1⁄8 ounces) all-purpose flour 3 large celery stalks, chopped (about 1 cup) 2 medium-size yellow onions, chopped (about 3 cups) 1 large poblano chile, chopped (about 1 cup)| 3 garlic cloves, minced (about 1 tablespoon) |8 to 10 cups unsalted chicken stock 1 pound fresh okra, trimmed and cut into 1⁄2-inch pieces (about 4 1⁄2 cups) 1 (14.5-ounce) can petite diced tomatoes, undrained 2 bay leaves 1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce 1 tablespoon Louisiana hot sauce 1 tablespoon kosher salt 1 teaspoon black pepper 1 pound peeled and deveined raw medium shrimp 1⁄2 pound fresh lump crabmeat, drained and picked over 1 1⁄2 tablespoons filé powder Hot cooked white rice 2⁄3 cup thinly sliced scallions (about 5 to 6 scallions) 1. Place the sausage in a large Dutch oven over medium; cook, stirring often, until browned on both sides, about 10 minutes. Using a slotted spoon, remove the sausage to drain on paper towels, reserving the drippings in the Dutch oven.   2. Add the butter and bacon drippings to the hot drippings in the Dutch oven, stirring until melted. Gradually whisk in the flour; cook, whisking constantly, until the mixture is a deep golden brown and thickened, being careful not to burn, 10 to 15 minutes.  3. Add the celery, onions, and poblano, and cook, stirring often, until the vegetables are almost tender, 12 to 15 minutes. Add the garlic, and cook, stirring often, until the vegetables are very tender and the garlic is aromatic, about 3 minutes. Gradually stir in 8 cups of the stock. Stir in the sausage, okra, tomatoes, bay leaves, Worcestershire, hot sauce, salt, and black pepper. Increase the heat to medium-high, and bring the mixture to a boil. 4. Reduce the heat to low, and simmer, partially covered, stirring occasionally, until thickened, about 3 hours. If the gumbo is too thick, add the remaining 2 cups stock, 1⁄2 cup at a time, until the desired consistency. Remove and discard the bay leaves. Stir in the shrimp and crabmeat, and cook until the shrimp turn pink, about 5 minutes. Stir in the filé powder, and remove from the heat. Serve the gumbo over the hot cooked rice, and garnish with the sliced scallions.