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 THE
ROLLINGSKULL, VOLUME 17, ISSUE 210September 15, 2023, Music by Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch, "Good Vibrations" (Marky Mark? Hey kids, Mark Wahlberg was not always an actor). Week Two Is Upon Us - Lovin' Those Goose Eggs: Flying Gators, Rodger's Witch, and NY Gangsters - Week II: The Quietest Jimmy Has Been in Three Years. - Ja'Marr Chaser Hates Elves - Arthur Smith Hates Fantasy Football - The Dawgs Hate Athur Smith - Blackbirds Assume the Fantasy Fetal Position - Commissioner Accused of Taking Money From China to Buy Justin Jefferson at the 3rd Pick -- He won't be fully investigated while his son mysteriously jets to Cincy! As always, we appreciate your patronage. E. A. Presley Editor and Chief of the RollingSkull |
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This week's checklist: 1. The MyFantasyLeague widgets are not performing normally at offl-balls.com. Widget are what blows the scores, transactions in our site. As of late, a number of us have had to to back in and out, refresh, login, etc just to get the scores to show... There is a help ticket into MyFantasyLeague as I write. In the meantime, I shared a trick in chat, when you go to the home page, click on the message board (make sure you are logged in) and then go back to the home page-- The scores will show up. I had another owner tell me the app was running slow--I have a feeling this is all server related. Never had an issue in 12 years, hopefully they come back with fix. Stay tuned. 2. Read the rules. Read the rules. Read the rules. 3. TRADE DEADLINE: Trading will cease at 12:45pm eastern, Sunday, Week 9. 4. It is the responsibility of all owners to update their roster for Thursday games. The remainder of the roster locks in at 12:59am on Sunday. This includes the Sunday late game players and Monday night players. 5. Available Apps for MyFantasyLeague (MFL) a. OFFL Game Day for PC, GAMEDAY APP. Use League ID 13439. b. MFL Premium for iPhone. League ID 13439 c. MFL Platinum for Android. League ID 13439 Side note: The home page scoreboard at tmes is faster if you like to refresh and drill down on each game individually. 6. Assistant Commissioner Jeff Kalish is Pete's backup in the event of a league emergency (i.e. go on the record, late moves, glitches, etc). If you need to time stamp with an email for debate later-- Jeff's email is jeff.kalish@xsitedigital.com and Pete's is plpurvis@bellsouth.net. 7. Schedule for Week One
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Pedro is 5 for 7 to start the season. This week's picks are brought to you by model and singer, Heidi Klum. Here we go with Week II.
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No team has ever: lost 40-0 or worse; lost the sack battle 7-0 or worse; lost the turnover battle 3-0 (or worse); had a blocked FG returned for a TD; threw a pick-6 in the same season. The Giants did it all in one game Puka Nacua and Tutu Atwell are the first Rams duo, age 23 or younger, with 100-plus receiving yards each since 1958. Brock Purdy is the first QB in history log a passer rating of 95+ in each of his first 6 career regular season starts. Since trading for Brett Favre in 1992 the Packers are 49-15 vs the Bears. Toney at -2.19 expected points added per target. If you throw the ball at Kadarius Toney 3 times; the other team scores a touchdown. The Falcons have a winning record for the 1st time since 2017 (Week 17). The Dolphins defeated the Chargers 36-34 despite not playing a single offensive snap with a lead. Josh Allen is 0-5 in overtime games. Tyreek Hill has the two fastest top speeds so far hitting 21.66 MPH and 21.52 MPH on separate TDs. Aaron Jones, who hit 21.48 MPH, was 3rd. Hill also recorded his tenth 10+ reception, 150+ receiving yard game, tied for the most in history. Justin Jefferson passes Randy Moss for the most games with 150 receiving yards before turning 25 New Bentley Has $50,000 Sound System Option The Bentley Mulliner Batur – a multimillion-dollar sports coupe limited to 18 examples – will be available with the $50,000 option of a 'Naim for Mulliner' sound system. A 'Naim for Mulliner' sound system for the Bentley Batur coupe – limited to 18 examples – may be one of the world's most expensive new-car options, at $50,000 each.  Claimed to have required 10,000 hours of development to produce the final desired audio output, the sound system has 20 speakers and is claimed to be "the most exquisite in-car audio system ever created." Bentley and UK speakNaim have collaborated on stereos since 2008, and the latest system also includes components from French audio specialist Focal. The system uses bespoke Focal speaker drivers positioned within Bentley's unique additive manufacturing-created speaker baskets, amplifying the system's performance beyond normal capabilities.Comprising six tweeters, nine mid-range speakers, two woofers, two active bass transducers, and one subwoofer, the entire system is claimed to have underwent rigorous modifications and enhancements. It also required producing a new 'M'-profile cone design that’s produced from a single-piece, meaning it is devoid of a dust cap and results in further enhancements to sound quality. The final result is a £25,000 option for customers, or approximately $AU49,000. While the ‘Naim for Mulliner’ sound system costs about 50 times more than many home hi-fi setups, it is just another option for the 18 customers of the Batur, each of which will be asked to pay a starting price of $2.8 million. Shoplifting Shoplifting An old lady gets caught shoplifting. On court day the lady and her husband who goes with her stands before the judge and he says to her, "Why did you shoplift?" And she says "I was hungry." The judge says "What did you take?" She replys, "A can of peaches." So the judge trying to figure out how to punish her says, "How many peaches where in the can?" The lady says "6." So the judge says ok then 1 day per peach in jail that will be 6 days time served. The judge says would anyone like to say anything and her husband says your honor, "She stole a can of peas too" Myron Mixon's Whistler Burger. Ingredients  1 pound ground beef 1 1oz packet of ranch dressing mix 3 tablespoons Beef Rub (use your own or Myron's) 2 tablespoons unsalted butter 2 slices sharp cheddar cheese 2 slices smoked Canadian bacon 2 white hamburger buns 1/2 cup kosher salt 2 tablespoons 1 teaspoon sugar 1/2 teaspoon chipotle pepper powder 1/2 teaspoon chili powder 1 teaspoon garlic powder 1 teaspoon granulated dried onion mayonnaise Iceberg lettuce Ripe tomato slices Directions Preheat a smoker or oven to 300 degrees F. In a medium nonreactive bowl, combine the ground beef with the ranch dressing mix and the beef rub. Mix gently with your hands, but be careful not to overwork the meat. Form into 2 patties (or more if you want smaller burgers). Place the burgers in an aluminum pan and place the pan in the smoker or in the oven. Cook for 15 minutes for medium-rare and up to 30 minutes for medium-well. Remove the burgers and allow them to rest, uncovered. Melt the butter in a medium skillet over medium heat. When the butter is hot but not smoking, slide the burgers carefully into the skillet, using a spatula. Cook the burgers for about 3 minutes on each side, just until they're seared and a nice crust has formed. Top with cheddar cheese. Transfer burgers onto a platter and let them rest, lightly covered with aluminum foil. In the same medium skillet over medium heat, cook Canadian bacon for about 2 minutes on each side, until lightly crispy. Transfer to paper towels to absorb any excess grease. Lightly toast the buns and smear the top and bottom halves of each with a little mayonnaise. Add burgers, a slice of Canadian bacon, a piecce of lettuce and a slice of tomato and serve. |
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We
heard that the Juice needed some work to cover his green fees since
becoming a free man in 2021. 
Given the OFFL's long history of
supporting retired athletes, we are here to help with trivia provided by
O.J. Simpson. Last week's question, "Which quarterback holds the record for the most career
interceptions thrown?
