OFFL:  RollingSKull Issue 210
THE ROLLINGSKULL, VOLUME 17, ISSUE 210
September 8, 2023, Music by The Marvelous 3, "If We're on Fire (Let It Burn)"
        
Week One Is Upon Us

     -  Flying Gators:  Trophy #6 May Not Be in the Cards, No Matter the Sacrifice
     -  A Defense in the 6th Round, What the F%CK Chuck!
     -  The Minnesota Stack Leaves Fanatic Fans Stunned
     -  Fighting Fish and Kicker Love
     -  Opinions Fly Wild, Should the Message Board Be Regulated?
     -  Roster Menu Receives an Upgrade for "Pass Catcher Flex"
     -  Jimmy Plans a Vacation for Week 13 as 5 Players Drafted Are On a Bye
     -  Round 6 Had Some Crazy Stuff, Momma Says Foosball is the Devil!

As always, we appreciate your patronage.
 
 
  E. A. Presley,
  Editor and Chief of the RollingSkull




 

We heard that the Juice needed some work to cover his green fees since becoming a free man in 2021.  Given the OFFL's long history of supporting retired athletes, we are here to help with trivia provided by O.J. Simpson.  Last week's trivia question was the following, "In 1965, Gale Sayers set a record for the most touchdowns scored in a rookie season. How many touchdowns did Sayers have that year?" The answer is 22.
 
 Gale Sayers scored 22 total touchdowns to set the record for the most total touchdowns in a rookie season. This is a record that still stands to this day and will be pretty tough to beat.

This week's question, "Which quarterback holds the record for the most career interceptions thrown?"

A.  Matt Schaub
B.  Jim Plunkett
C.  Brett Farve
D.  Ryan Leaf

This week's winners will recieve a commemorative poster that celebrates the 2023 draft of the five time champion, Flying Gators.

 

 

 



 

This week's checklist:
 
1.  You will notice that the submit lineup page is a little different this season to accommodate the "pass catcher flex."  Don't be alarmed by the TE slot,
     you will notice it has "Select 0-1" in the requirement and "Select 2-4" in the WR slot.  This allows the option to play another receiver vs a tight end.
  
2.  Read the rules.  Read the rules.  Read the rules.
 
3.  TRADE DEADLINE:  Trading will cease at 12:45pm eastern, Sunday, Week 9.
 
4.  It is the responsibility of all owners to update their roster for Thursday games.  The remainder of the roster locks in at 12:59am on Sunday. 
     This includes the Sunday late game players and Monday night players.
 
5.  Available Apps for MyFantasyLeague (MFL)
       a.  OFFL Game Day for PC, GAMEDAY APP. Use League ID 13439.
       b.  MFL Premium for iPhone.  League ID 13439
       c.  MFL Platinum for Android.  League ID 13439
            Side note:  The home page scoreboard at tmes is faster if you like to refresh and drill down on each game individually.
  
6.  Assistant Commissioner Jeff Kalish is Pete's backup in the event of a league emergency (i.e. go on the record, late moves, glitches, etc). 
     If you need to time stamp with an email for debate later--  Jeff's email is jeff.kalish@xsitedigital.com and Pete's is plpurvis@bellsouth.net.
  
7.  Schedule for Week One
MATCHUP
TIME
TV
LOCATION 
Thursday, September 7, 2023
Detroit
  @  Kansas City
 8:15 PM NBC Arrowhead, Kansas City, MO
Sunday, September 10, 2023
Carolina
  @  Atlanta
 1:00 PM
FOX
Mercedes-Benz Stadium, Atlanta, GA
Cincinnati
  @  Cleveland
 1:00 PM
CBS
Cleveland Browns Stadium, Cleveland, OH
Jacksonville
  @  Indianapolis
 1:00 PM
FOX
Lucas Oil Stadium, Indianapolis, IN
Tampa Bay
  @  Minnesota
 1:00 PM
CBS
U.S. Bank Stadium, Minneapolis, MN
Tennessee
  @  New Orleans
 1:00 PM
CBS
Caesars Superdome, New Orleans, LA
San Francisco
  @  Pittsburgh
 1:00 PM
FOX
Acrisure Stadium, Pittsburgh, PA
Arizona
  @  Washington
 1:00 PM
FOX
FedExField, Landover, MD
Houston
  @  Baltimore
 1:00 PM
CBS
M&T Bank Stadium, Baltimore, MD
Green Bay
  @  Chicago
 4:25 PM
FOX
Soldier Field, Chicago, IL
Las Vegas
  @  Denver
 4:25 PM
CBS
Empower Field at Mile High, Denver, CO
Philadelphia
  @  New England
 4:25 PM
CBS
Gillette Stadium, Foxborough, MA
Miami
  @  Los Angeles
 4:25 PM
CBS
SoFi Stadium, Inglewood, CA
Los Angeles
  @  Seattle
 4:25 PM
FOX
Lumen Field, Seattle, WA
Dallas
  @  New York
 8:20 PM
NBC
MetLife Stadium, East Rutherford, NJ
Monday, September 11, 2023
Buffalo
  @  New York
 8:15 PM
ESPN
MetLife Stadium, East Rutherford, NJ

 
 

  
By most standards, there will be a lot of 7 & 6 teams this season.  Early power ranking have the following the following teams battling it out for the FantasyBowl.

                         NY Gangsters   -   Blackbirds   -   Blitzburgh   -   Cunning Linguists    -   Mean  Machine   -  Romosexual Tendencies

More interesting, here are the Scrub, aka "I shot myself in the foot."  Awards.
    
     -  Throw That D:  McCaffrey with the first pick. WTF!  Disregard the injury potential, he was in the 7 - 10 range at best.  Enjoy your beer
         and Captain Crunch while wondering why 2nd pick Christian Watson only plays six games... I wonder if the OFFL ever witnessed
         the first pick team ending up in 14th place?  This could be the opportunity.
 
     -  Flying Gators:  He must have read my opinion peice last week and turned off his "draft manager."  #30 overall, Derrick Henry in round! 
        He should have grabbed Henry when he grabbed Tee Higgins in the second.. With Higgins at #40 overall at round 2, Trevor Lawrence
        at round 3... You see where this is going, Joe was caught in worm hole as he continued to draft each player a round ahead of their ranking. 
        Look for Joe to make a cameo next season on NBC's "Quantum Leap."

     -  Mr.  Hoffnuts:  Soldier Chucky had someone stand in for the draft. Unfortunately, his guy Marvin was looking at last year's draft sheet or
        he had money on the Pee Wee football game.  Getting #3 overall Kelce at #10 was awesome with only a shit show to follow...  Lamar Jackson
        goes 20 picks too early and we throw in a defense for good measure in the 6th.  Holy sheep skin Batman, we get a kicker in the 9th! 
        Say goodnight Gracie.

    -  Fighting Fish:  The one team nuttier than Hoffnuts!  A cooked Kupp in round 2 and  freakin kicker in the 8th?  Do you cook your own
       brownies or do you have them prescribed to you?  I hear that Delta-9 THC is a whopper.  164 pts last year, I don't care if it was 320-
       Tucker would have been there the next round and you could have spent that pick for another WR or RB, remember we have an additonal flex
       this year.  The good news is when you lose and get trash talked this season, you can alway says "I have two OFFL Championships!  This will
       work on everyone but Joe B.

Remember kids, the OFFL in no way, shape or form endorses being a scrub.
--BomB OuT

  
 

 
Pedro is back to make a name for himself with Week One Predictions.  This week's picks are brought to you by Kelly Reilly from Yellowstone and the upcoming Haunting in Venice.  On to week one...

SPOKESMODEL

                  MATCHUP PREDICTION


  vs    Mean Machine:  64 to 56
   vs    class= Mr. Hoffnuts:  64 to 59
Flying Gators   vs    Blackbirds: 45 to 51
   vs    Blitzburgh:  60 to 59
  vs    Cunning Linguists Midnight Dawgs:  66 to 58
  vs   Throw That (t) D: 42 to 57 **
   vs   Midnight Riders:  62 to 55
  ** "Estradiol Game of the Week"


 
 


 
New Marvelous 3 Album set for October

 Butch Walker got the rock world talking when he announced a Marvelous 3 reunion and new studio album earlier this year. Now he's got us all singing along.
 
The Marvelous 3 - singer/guitarist Walker, bassist Jayce Fincher and drummer Doug "Slug" Mitchell - dropped their new song "If We're On Fire (Let It Burn)" today, a white-hot, hard rock breakup anthem that, in true Butch Walker form, flips the script and says everything will be fine. Maybe.

The track is the first taste of Marvelous 3's upcoming new album IV, due for release October 13 - almost 25 years to the day since their major-label debut Hey! Album, and more than 23 years since their last release, ReadySexGo. Walker has become one of music's most sought-after talents since Marvelous 3 disbanded in 2001, co-writing songs and producing albums for a who's who of radio favorites including Taylor Swift, Green Day, Weezer, Pink, Fall Out Boy, The All-American Rejects, fellow Atlanta natives Sevendust and countless more.

New single "If We're On Fire (Let It Burn)" builds on those pop hooks and razor-sharp lyrics, even going so far as name-dropping Drowning Pool and Panic! At The Disco and closing out with a Cheap Trick-inspired singalong.   IV is due out October 13. Yes, of course that's a Friday.

Greater Fired From Walmart
 

After landing my new job as a Walmart greeter, a good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day. Here’s what happened:  About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, decidedly unattractive, woman walked into the store along with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.

As I had been instructed, I said, pleasantly, “Good morning and welcome to Walmart.”  I then said, “Nice children you have there. Are they twins?”

The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, “Don’t be f**ing stupid. Of course they aren’t twins. The oldest one’s 9, and the other one’ s 7. Why the hell would you think they’re twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?”

I replied, “I’m neither blind nor stupid, Madam. I just couldn’t believe someone f**ked you twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Walmart.”

My Supervisor said I probably wasn’t cut out for this line of work.




Grilling with Bianca
Pretzel Bites and Cheese Sauce

Pretzel Bites Ingredients
Flour
Instant Rise Yeast
Butter
Brown Sugar
Baking Soda
Salt
Egg

Cheese Sauce Ingredients
Milk
Butter
Flour
Cheddar Cheese
Salt + Pepper

+ Dissolve the yeast in the lukewarm water, and whisk to combine.
+ Add the butter, brown sugar, salt and yeast mixture to a mixing bowl.
+ Stir until combined. Then slowly add in the flour.
+ Lightly flour your counter and turn the dough out onto it.
+ Knead for about 2 minutes, then form into a ball.
+ Place the dough in a large mixing bowl that has been lightly coated with nonstick spray. Cover and let rest for 10 minutes.
+ Meanwhile, bring a large pot of water to a boil with the baking soda and preheat the oven to 425 degrees.
+ Section dough into six equal parts and roll each section into long ropes. Then, cut into 1-1/2 inch bites.
+ Working in batches, drop the pretzel bites into the boiling water for 20 seconds.
+ Remove with a slotted spoon and place onto parchment paper lined baking sheets, making sure that pretzel bites do not touch. Repeat with remaining pretzel bites.
+ Brush an egg wash over each pretzel bite and sprinkle with coarse sea salt.
+ Bake for 12-15 minutes, until golden brown. Enjoy!

How To Make Pretzel Cheese Dip
Heat milk until bubbles form.
In separate pan, melt butter, whisk in flour, and cook until lightly browned.
Add warm milk to flour and whisk until thick.
Stir in the cheese.

Mustard Pretzel Cheese Dip
Make a mustard cheddar cheese sauce for pretzels by adding a dollop of your favorite mustard to the prepared cheese sauce.

Nacho Pretzel Cheese Dip
Make a spicy nacho cheese sauce for pretzels by adding 2 tablespoons of hot sauce and 1 teaspoon cayenne when you add the cheese.

Horseradish Cheese Dip
Make a zingy horseradish cheese sauce for pretzels by adding 2 tablespoons of horseradish when you add the cheese.

- Mistress Bianca

    Flying Gators      Midnight Riders        Cunning Linguists