September 14, 2017
|  Music by Goodbye June, "Oh No"
- Jaguar Defense Single Handedly Destroys Week One
- Obi Wong, you are the team's only hope.  The dark side of free agency lurks.

- Does MYLF regret draftiing Rodgers so early?

- We foresee a very different week 2 as the veterans load up.
- Pedro is out of the gate batting 667.
- Big Joe/Flying Gators Already Showing Signs of Free Agent Addiction
- In a related story, the pot gained $200+ from free agency going into week 2.
- Midnight Rider response to week 1?  "Oh no!"

E. A. Presley
Editor and Chief of the Rolling Skull


Week one's trivia question was "Who is the only other player in league history who's run for over 1,500 yards for two different franchises?"  The answer is Clinton Portis.  I know we threw you a curve when we included Marshall Faulk as one of the choices.  Faulk's greatness came in that he was both a runner and really productive catching passes -- five seasons with 80-plus catches. But never ran for 1,400 yards in a season (went over 1,300 four times).

Portis ran for 1,516 yards for Washington in 2005 (which was a team record). He ran for 1,591 yards for the Broncos in 2003, but that was not a record (Terrell Davis went for 2,008 yards in 1998).  Clinton played in the NFL for nine seasons. He played college football for the University of Miami. He was drafted by the Denver Broncos in the second round of the 2002 NFL Draft. Portis was best known for being the starting running back for the Washington Redskins for seven seasons, in which he gained an average of 81.2 yards rushing per game, for which a select panel of celebrities included him as one of the 80 Greatest Redskins.
From Aaron's boyfriend's cell, we have the question for week 2.  Who was the last
player released in the final “cut down” to 53 players, only to sign with another team and run for over 1,000 yards in that season?
a.  Maurice Jones Drew
b.  LaGarrette Blount

c.  Chris Johnson
d.  DeAngelo Williams

This week's winners will receive the new dvd release of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.  Added in are previously deleted scences that met the cutting room floor.  These scenes include Mark Birchard, Head Coach, Fanatics (34 points last week,damn)!  All answers should be submitted to E.A. Presley, Editor and Chief via the Commissioner's Office.


This week's checklist:

1.  Make sure you check your roster prior to Thursday games to make sure you don't lock in or lock out  the wrong player.  Your other players for
     Sunday and Monday will lock in at 12:59 Sunday morning (with the exception of those goofy early European games that the NFL schedules).

2.   Kalish is Pete's back up if for some reason you have to get a hold of the league office before game time (or go on record)
      Jeff's email, for backup.  VP Jeff Kalish now has administrative privileges if anyone has problems with the

3.  Karl's quick tutorial on the "My Fantasy League Software,

4.  League Entry is $120.  Free agents, $5 a pop.  You can pay me in advance or wait.  Just don't leave me hanging at season's end. Weekly
     payouts/credit will be issued for the top three scoring teams in the order of  $24, $12, and $6.

5.  Do not ask Commissioner Purvis a "rule question" until after you have read the rules. 

6.  To enjoy the site music with your pc/tablet you need Adobe Flash approved in your browser.

7.  You can listen to live updates on your PC/Laptop with the GameDay Program, download here GAMEDAY APP.  Great App, it is Microsoft
     based....  Use League ID 13439 when prompted.
Turn up the volume and enjoy the commentary.

8.  For wireless apps, here are the links... Iphone/Ipad Droid, and  Windows.  phones.

9.  The Club House Pages are up and running! 
10.  Here are this week's NFL matchups.

Thursday, September 14
8:25 PM NFL Paul Brown Stadium, Cincinnati
Sunday, September 17
1:00 PM CBS M&T Bank Stadium, Baltimore
1:00 PM CBS Bank of America Stadium, Charlotte
1:00 PM FOX Lucas Oil Stadium, Indianapolis
1:00 PM CBS EverBank Field, Jacksonville
Kansas City 
1:00 PM FOX Arrowhead Stadium, Kansas City
New England 
New Orleans 
1:00 PM CBS Mercedes-Benz Superdome, New Orleans
1:00 PM FOX Heinz Field, Pittsburgh
Tampa Bay 
1:00 PM FOX Raymond James Stadium, Tampa
Los Angeles 
4:05 PM CBS StubHub Center, Carson
New York 
4:05 PM CBS Oakland Coliseum, Oakland
4:25 PM FOX Sports Authority Field at Mile High, Denver
Los Angeles 
4:25 PM FOX Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum, Los Angeles
San Francisco 
4:25 PM FOX CenturyLink Field, Seattle
Green Bay 
8:30 PM NBC Mercedes-Benz Stadium, Atlanta
Monday, September 18
New York 
8:30 PM ESPN MetLife Stadium, East Rutherford


P. L. Purvis  
Commissioner, OFFL

Okay, let us talk about SH#$ that was wrong  and right with week one.
          - What do you call 10 sacks, 1 int, 3 fumble recoveries, 7 pts allowed and a TD?  The answer is  Rick Nutt making a pact with the devil. 
             Tim Teebow come save this man!  The Jax D rolls over the Riders in the 69 to 52 win for the Tuna Wranglers.  Just plain WRONG.
          - Devonta Freeman left MYLF hanging in the wind like Ricks dirty underwear on a clothes line.  Lucky for Kitty, her homer pick of Aaron
             Rodgers came through for her and knocked out the rookie, Obi Wong.  This is RIGHT!  Screw rookies!
         - The two auto draft teams of Mad Dog's Revenge and Deflators won their 1st games.  Just plain WRONG!  Heck, we have yet to see if
            Kyle can actually play fantasy football as he did not draft his 2016 team either!   (Ouch! Maybe below the belt on that one? A good
            message board topic).
         - Bill Killen makes his return to the OFFL in style. I personally thought Stafford as a starter was a mistake only to be proven wrong. 
           Redskin Bill takes down the Flying Gators.  The last time Big Joe was rejected this bad was at Taco & Disco night at Hightide Burrito, 
           This is RIGHT!

         - Game of Jones, (aka Go J) bends over the Fanatics 54 to 34.  The rookie treats Mark like an extra on the set of Broke Back Mountain. 
            Just plain WRONG.  Screw rookies.
        BOmB OuT!

Pedro goes four for six in week one (.667). Week 2's spokesmodel is pro golfer, Paige Spiranac.  She is truly an inspiration to get out on the golf course! 


                            MATCHUP PREDICTION

  VS  61 to 60:  Mad Dog's Revenge
Cunning Linguists  VS    48 to 42:  Cunning Linguists *
  VS    54 to 49:  Deflators
  VS  Flying Gators 46 to 53:  Obi Wong
  VS  49 to 56:  Tuna Wranglers
  VS   55 to 53:  Midnight Riders
  * Estradiol Game of the Week


SuperCritical: Marijuana-Infused Beer


A new brew has arrived… Is this the continued decline of western civilization or an improvement?  We now have a marijuana infused IPA.  Actually this was done for the aromatics, not to get you drunk and high at the same time.  SuperCritical is a new marijuana-infused IPA from Lagunitas Brewing Company, a subsidiary of Heineken.  SuperCritical is the product of a collaboration between Lagunitas and CannaCraft, a vape cartridge company that figured out a way to separate terpenes from marijuana – terpenes being the substance that gives marijuana its distinctive aroma and flavor. This process also removes the THC before the marijuana is added to the brew, which seems to me to be kind of like purposely eating a cookie that tastes like weed without getting high, but whatever.  SuperCritical also includes vaping cartridges with beer.  Both products are for the present time only available in California, and you can get more info at the official SuperCritical site right here.   (EA Presley, Editor and Chief, "I can't get the thought of bong water ouf of my mind, yuk.  One wonders if drinking this beer would effect a drug screen...  I will leave it up to someone else to tell me how it tastes").

LITTLE JOHNNY, Passenger Train


A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of b*tches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of b*tches who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we're going down the tracks." The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language." Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today." As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the b*tch in the kitchen."

We are about to get high calorie, smoke delicious nasty...    Smoked Beer-Can Burgers


Yield: Serves 4

Method: Indirect grilling

Equipment: 1-1/2 cups wood chips, such as oak or hickory, soaked in water or beer to cover for 30 minutes, then drained

On the front end:

Cooking spray

2 pounds ground beef, well chilled

1 can of beer or soda, well chilled

8 slices of bacon, preferably thick cut

Coarse salt (kosher or sea) and freshly ground black pepper


For the vegetable filling:

1 tablespoon butter or olive oil

8 ounces white mushrooms, cleaned, trimmed, and sliced

1 red bell pepper, trimmed, seeded, and diced

1/2 cup diced sweet onion (1 small onion)

2 tablespoons steak sauce, such as Best of Barbecue or A-1



8 slices provolone cheese (about 8 ounces)

4 bakery-style hamburger buns, buttered and toasted (optional)

The recipe is below.  If all this blows your mind, here is the link to see how it is done, BEER CAN BURGERS.


Step 1: Line a rimmed baking sheet with foil and spray with cooking spray. Divide the hamburger into 4 equal pieces (1/2 pound each). Wet your hands with cold water and form the meat into 4 balls. Arrange several inches apart on the baking sheet.


Step 2: Spray the bottom and lower third of the beer or soda can with cooking spray. (Don’t skip this step.) Firmly press the bottom of the beer can into each meatball, forming a cup; the bottom and sides of the cup should be of fairly uniform thickness. Wrap a slice of bacon around the outside of each cup. Carefully remove the beer can. Using your fingers, fuse any cracks in the bottom or sides of the burgers. Refrigerate, uncovered, for 30 minutes to 1 hour.


Step 3: In the meantime, heat the butter over medium heat in a skillet. Sauté the mushrooms, bell pepper, and onion until the vegetables soften. Stir in the steak sauce. Let cool.


Step 4: Season the inside of each burger with salt and pepper. Divide the vegetable filling between the chilled burgers. Secure the bacon with toothpicks.


Step 5: When ready to cook, set up your grill for indirect grilling and preheat to medium-low, 300 degrees. Brush and oil the grill grate. Carefully transfer the burgers, topping side up, to the grill grate away from direct heat. Toss the wood chips on the coals. Cover the grill. If using a gas grill, place all of the wood chips in the smoker box or in a smoker pouch and run the grill on high until you see smoke, then reduce the heat to 300 degrees.


Step 6: Indirect grill the burgers for 45 minutes, then top each with 2 slices of cheese. Re-cover the grill and continue to cook until the internal temperature of the meat is 160 degrees and the cheese has melted, about 15 minutes more. (Replenish the coals, if necessary, and/or adjust the vents to maintain grill temperature.) Toast the buns, if using, on the grill grate directly over the heat. Place the burgers on the toasted buns, if desired, or transfer to plates. Serve with your favorite condiments.


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