THE ROLLINGSKULL, VOLUME 10, ISSUE 147
November 4, 2016
|  Music by CRX. "Ways to Fake It"  (tribute to Fighting Fish)

How the FL / GA Game Ruined the Rider's Weekend

Kalish Picks up Purvis' Slack

Intersceptors:  "The Best Team to Make the Wild Card?"

Mid Season Trash Talk with the Linguist

Belichick Yourself and Deflators Build Momentum

It's Jimmy vs. Pete Week!  Jimmy carries grudge back to 1998

Poor, Poor, Kitty

  E. A. Presley
  Editor and Chief of the Rolling Skull




 

Last week's question, "What NFL team was the firsr to have an insignia on their helmet?"  (Bonus points for year and the artist).  In 1948, the Rams became the first team to have a helmet insignia.  The distinctive Ram horns were hand painted by the team's halfback, Fred Gehrke.

This week's question is "Who was the first Chicago Bear player to ever gain more than 100 yards rushing and receiving in the same game?"

a.  Matt Forte
b.  Beattie Feathers
c.  Gale Sayers
d.  Walter Payton
e.  Bobby Douglass

This week's winners will receive Todd Moulton's new self-help book.  This book will help you lose like a pro... Just like the Norwood Slammers.






 

This week's checklist:

1.  Make sure you check your roster prior to Thursday games to make sure you don't lock in or lock out  the wrong player.  Your other players for
     Sunday and Monday will lock in at 12:59 Sunday morning (with the exception of those goofy early European games that the NFL schedules).

2.   Kalish is Pete's (plpurvis@bellsouth.net) back up if for some reason you have to get a hold of the league office before game time (or go on record)
      Jeff's email,  JKalish@shepherdagency.com  for backup.  VP Jeff Kalish now has administrative privileges if anyone has problems with the
      website.


3.  Karl's quick tutorial on the "My Fantasy League Software, http://offl-balls.com/howtoguide.htm.

4.  League Entry is $120.  Free agents, $5 a pop.  You can pay me in advance or wait.  Just don't leave me hanging at season's end. 

5.  To enjoy the music with your pc table for  the site, you need Adobe Flash.   The FireFox browser now longer supports Flash.  For cell phone, they
      do offer the FlashFox browser now for anDroid.

6.  For cell phones, here is the wireless live scoring link here.  
       (Note there is a MyFantasyLeague available in your app store).  The link above is a nice clean look for my taste.
 
7.  I like to listen to live updates on my PC with the GameDay Program, download here GAMEDAY APP.  Great App, it is Microsoft based....
     Use League ID 13439 when prompted.
Turn up the volume and enjoy.
                                                                            
Matchup Time  (ET) TV Location
Atlanta ATL Tampa Bay TB 8:30 PM NBC Raymond James Stadium, Tampa
Sunday, November 6
Matchup Time  (ET) TV Location
Pittsburgh PIT Baltimore BAL 1:00 PM CBS M&T Bank Stadium, Baltimore
Dallas DAL Cleveland CLE 1:00 PM FOX FirstEnergy Stadium, Cleveland
Jacksonville JAX Kansas City KC 1:00 PM CBS Arrowhead Stadium, Kansas City
New York NYJ Miami MIA 1:00 PM CBS Hard Rock Stadium, Miami
Philadelphia PHI New York NYG 1:00 PM FOX MetLife Stadium, East Rutherford
Detroit DET Minnesota MIN 1:00 PM FOX U.S. Bank Stadium, Minneapolis
Carolina CAR Los Angeles LA 4:05 PM FOX Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum, Los Angeles
New Orleans NO San Francisco SF 4:05 PM FOX Levi's Stadium, Santa Clara
Tennessee TEN San Diego SD 4:25 PM CBS Qualcomm Stadium, San Diego
Indianapolis IND Green Bay GB 4:25 PM CBS Lambeau Field, Green Bay
Denver DEN Oakland OAK 8:30 PM NBC Oakland Coliseum, Oakland
Monday, November 7
Matchup Time  (ET) TV Location
Buffalo BUF Seattle SEA 8:30 PM ESPN CenturyLink Field, Seattle
BYE:  Chicago, Cinci, New England, Arizona, Washington, and Houston


Cordially,

P. L. Purvis  
Commissioner, OFFL


 
The Bomb is on hiatus while still recovering from FL / GA last week.   We now present...

TRASH TALK WITH THE LINGUIST
  
Diaper Genies – Mel … you lucked out with Matt Ryan, but wouldn’t it be nice if you had any WR to actually catch the ball… Maybe Vinatieri or the PHI D/ST can carry you to the playoffs.
  
Flying Gators – Joe… Can you say, I need a QB… Pray for the return of Big Ben to bring Antonio Brown back to relevance and the health of LeSean McCoy…  Denver D/ST drafted way too early based on scoring to date.
 
Tuna Wranglers – Rick… How has that reach for Russell Wilson during the draft worked out for you…  No defense and an anemic WR corps…Without Ezekiel Elliott you are the Norwood Slammers
 
MYLF – Kitty… This is not your mother’s GB offense… Back that horse or cat up… Pray for Jay Ajayi’s health and that Drew Brees and Marvin Jones keep it up… 2-6 presents a hard path to the playoffs.
 
$5 Footlongs – Mathew… QB?  Got QB?... Without David Johnson and Greg Olsen you would be 0-7… Hope starting Olsen on his Bye week worked out for you, the runner-up in last year’s playoffs… Can you say fantasy website subscription/no skill/luck anyone?
 
Deflators – Kyle… The Tevin Coleman injury hurts… Booker pickup could help… Draft darlings ODB and Jordy Nelson have left you wanting… If it were 2014/2015 Jamaal Charles, Kelvin Benjamin and Tyler Eifert might help… .
 
Midnight Riders – Pete… Todd Gurley at #5 in the draft… OUCH… Charcandrick West could be the answer… Oh right, your playoff hopes rest on Charmander…UGH…Spencer Ware helps, but if Mike Evans gets hurt, you can go back to planning the date and time for the 2017 draft…
 
Norwood Slammers – Todd & Laurie… Do you have any players this week on IR, on bye or GTD that will not start… Please check… It is like you both woke up and went FA crazy… Melvin Gordon does not a team make… Hope 2017 works out better for you both….
 
Fanatics – Mark… You have to hope Carlos Hyde gets healthy as the rest of your RB’s won’t win you a game… Nice WR corp but with Cutler throwing to Jeffery and Osweiler to Hopkins is worrisome… Dez will need to be all-world from this point forward or you are done…
 
Cunning  J… Without Blount drafted in the 8th round, you would be average at best… No WR 2 to speak of and if Julio Jones gets hurt, the road to the playoffs would get harder if not impossible…
 
Fighting Fish – Robert… 2015 champs attempting to repeat… How is that Aaron Roidgers 1st round pick treating you… Kirk Cousins has 3 points less on the year… You need Lamar Miller to live up to his 2nd round  draft slot or your rancid WR corp won’t help your defense of the title…
 
Belichick Yourself – Angel… DeMarco Murray has proved to be a solid pick… But, now that Larry Fitzgerald has come back to 38 year-old earth… It will take Dak or Derek Carr to lead you to the promised land… Not likely to happen…
 
New York Gangsters – Jimmy… First off… HA HA HA… Kickers going in the 14th round of the draft have outscored the miss-prone Gostkowski… Without Andrew Luck you are winless… If Matt Forte goes down you will struggle to win again this year…
 
Interceptors – Michael… The fantasy gods hate you Bruh… 5th highest scoring in the league and 4-4 through the first 8 weeks… Losing first month darling CJ Anderson hurts, but pray for the health of Matt Stafford and AJ Green… Top 2 defenses will help… But, you can’t play them both each week… Rest assured that the playoffs can be made with the highest points scored and a terrible record…


 - LINGUIST OUT!


 
 
Pedro has been on fire going 6 for 7 the last 2 weeks.  He is now 30 for 56 (536) for the season.  Lynda Carter is the spokesmodel for week 9 (She could be Wonder Woman in real life, what man or woman looks that good in their 60's?)
   

SPOKESMODEL

                            MATCHUP PREDICTION

 

  VS  57 to 64:  Diaper Genies
  VS  55 to 48:  Deflators
  VS  Cunning Linguists 49 to 54:  Cunning Linguists
Flying Gators  VS  63 to 48:  Flying Gators
  VS  64 to 40:  Belichick Yourself
  VS   37 to 47:  MYLF   * Estradiol Game x 10
  VS  56 to 52:  Midnight Riders
  * Estradiol Game of the Week


 



MOBY DICK STASH BOX
Herman Melville’s novel Moby Dick is one of the most imposing works ever written, and there’s absolutely no reason at all that you shouldn’t take advantage of that intimidating reputation for the sake of securing your own valuables. Now, you can, with the Moby Dick Stash Box.
 
The Moby Dick Stash Box is basically a variation on the classic book safe.  On the outside, it looks like a particularly weathered and probably unreadable copy of the classic tale of Man vs Whale, but on the inside, it’s a box for anything you want to put inside.
 
Might I suggest a small, pocket-sized copy of Moby Dick in paperback?Until a Wind Whales of Ishmael Stash Box is released, the Moby Dick Stash Box is the premier choice for fans of whales and duplicitous home furnishings. You can order yours now from the Cool Material Shop right here for just under $25.


AND THIS WEEK's DIRTY JOKE IS...


A boy was walking down the street when he noticed his grandpa sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down. "Grandpa what are you doing?" he exclaimed. The old man looked off in the distance and did not answer him. "Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?" he asked again. The old man slowly looked at him and said, "Well, last week I sat out here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck. This is your Grandma's idea."

GREEK LEMON CHICKEN SOUP

November will bing the cold.  Here is a great soup for your next tailgate.  This serves 6 to 8 and makes for a great left over for lunch.

10 cups chicken broth
3 tbsp olive oil
8 cloves garlic minced
1 sweet onion
1 large lemon zested
2 boneless chicken breasts
1 cup Israeli Couscous (pearled)
1/2 tsp crushed red pepper
2 ounces crumbled fetta
1/3 cup chopped chive
Salt and pepper to taste

Place the olive oil in a large 6-8 quart sauce pot over medium-low heat. Peel the onion. Then quarter it and slice into thin strips. Once the oil is hot, saute the onion and minced garlic for 3-4 minutes to soften.
 
Add the chicken stock, chicken breasts, lemon zest, and crushed red pepper to the pot. Raise the heat to high, cover, and bring to a boil. Once boiling, reduce the heat to medium, then simmer for 5 minutes.Stir in the couscous, 1 teaspoon salt, and black pepper to taste. Simmer another 5 minutes. Then turn the heat off.
 
Using tongs, remove the two chicken breasts from the pot. Use a fork and the tongs to shred the chicken. Then place it back in the pot. Stir in the crumbled feta cheese and chopped chive. Taste and salt and pepper as needed. Serve warm.

Per the Commissioner, we have archived all of the past year's football recipes from Mistress Bianca.   Just click right here

   

  Flying Gators Midnight Riders   Cunning Linguists