October 14, 2016
|  Music by John Kilzer, "Green, Yellow, - Yelllow to Red"

     Mark Birchard Takes His Fantasy Problems to Dr. Phil

     Under the Category of "WTF"... Flying Gators Top the Point Standings

     Mike Birchard and the Interceptors:  The Best Worst Team in the OFFL

     Kitty Nutt's Fantasy Story to be Made Into a Movie Called, "Poor Kitty"

     BROKE:  Brady Is Back and the Midnight Riders Have No Running Game

     The Best Auto Draft In History.... DEFLATORS!

     New Book Release:  Todd Moulton, Trying to be as Cool as Pete

     HOUSEKEEPING:  Kalish Now Has Commissioner Rights

                                                                     Regards, E. A. Presley
                                                                                 Editor and Chief of the Rolling Skull


Last week's question, "Long time Dolphin's Coach, Don Shula was drafted in 1951 by whom and for what position?"  Don Shula was drafted by the Cleveland Browns in 1951 as a defensive back.

Shula graduated in 1951 and majored in sociology with a minor in mathematics, and was offered a job teaching and coaching at Canton Lincoln High School in Canton, Ohio for $3,750 a year ($34,188 in 2016). The Cleveland Browns of the National Football League, however, had selected him in the ninth round of the 1951 draft that January.  Cleveland had won the NFL championship the previous year behind a staunch defense and an offense led by quarterback Otto Graham, fullback Marion Motley and end Dante Lavelli.  Shula was joined in the Browns' training camp by John Carroll teammate Carl Taseff, whom Cleveland coach Paul Brown selected in the 22nd round.  Brown made the selections in part because John Carroll coach Herb Eisele attended his coaching clinics and used similar schemes and terminology as Brown did. 

Shula and Taseff both made the team and were its only two rookies in 1951.  Shula signed a $5,000-a-year contract and played as a defensive back alongside Warren Lahr and Tommy James.  Shula played in all 12 of Cleveland's games in 1951, making his first appearance as a starter in October, and recorded four interceptions.  The Browns, meanwhile, finished with an 11–1 record and advanced to the championship game for a second straight year.  The team lost the game 24–17 to the Los Angeles Rams in Los Angeles.  Shula served for 11 months in the Ohio National Guard in 1952 during the Korean War.  Shula was a member of an Ohio National Guard unit that was activated the following January amid the Korean War.  Military service in Ohio and at Fort Polk in Louisiana kept Shula away from football until the unit was deactivated that November. 

Returning to the Browns, Shula signed a $5,500-a-year contract and played in five games at the end of the season, having become a full-time starter because of injuries to other players.  The Browns again advanced to the championship game and again lost, this time to the Detroit Lions.  In early 1953, Brown traded Shula along with Taseff and eight other players to the Baltimore Colts in exchange for five Colts players including tackles Mike McCormack and Don Colo. Before joining Baltimore, Shula finished a master's degree in physical education at Case Western Reserve University in Cleveland.  Shula signed a $6,500-a-year contract with Baltimore, which was preparing for its first season after relocating from Dallas, where the franchise had been called the Dallas Texans (not to be confused with the 1960 Texans which later became the KC Chiefs).  The team replaced an earlier Colts franchise that folded after the 1950 season.  The Colts finished with a 3–9 record in 1953 despite leading the NFL in defensive takeaways, including three interceptions by Shula.  Baltimore continued to struggle the following year under new head coach Weeb Ewbank, a former Browns assistant. 

The team again finished 3–9 for last place in the NFL West, although Shula had a career-high five interceptions.  Shula had five interceptions again in 1955, but the Colts finished 5–6–1, well out of contention for the divisional championship.   Shula missed the final three games of the season because of a broken jaw suffered in a 17–17 tie with the Los Angeles Rams.  Ewbank brought in future Pro Football Hall of Fame quarterback Johnny Unitas as a backup in 1956, but the Colts posted a losing record even after he became the starter partway through the season.  Shula had just one interception that year.  The Colts waived Shula at the end of training camp in 1957 season, and the Washington Redskins picked him up.   Shula spent one season with the Redskins before retiring. In his seven NFL seasons, he played in 73 games, intercepted 21 passes and recovered four fumbles. 

Weeb Ewbank, under whom Shula had played in Cleveland and Baltimore, was fired as the Colts' head coach in 1963 following a string of losing seasons and disagreements over team strategy and organization with owner Carroll Rosenbloom.  Colts owner Carroll Rosenbloom immediately named Shula as the team's next head coach, having recruited him for the job earlier.   Shula was only 33 years old, making him the youngest coach in league history at the time, but Rosenbloom was familiar with his personality and approach from his playing days in Baltimore.  While Rosenbloom said he realized he was "out on a limb" in hiring Shula, he felt it would bring a sense of team spirit back to the Colts.  While Shula had only been an average player, he was "always... taking pictures, talking football", said Rosenbloom. "He had always wanted to coach". 

Shula would remain with the Colts from 1963 to 1969. After the 1969 season, Joe Robbie, owner of the Miami Dolphins, signed Shula to a contract to become Miami's second head coach. As a result of Shula's signing, the team was charged with tampering by the NFL, which forced the Dolphins to give their first-round pick to the Colts.  The decision was controversial because Shula and Robbie's negotiations and signing were conducted before and after the official NFL/AFL merger, respectively. Had the negotiations been concluded before the merger, while the NFL and AFL were rivals, the NFL's antitampering rules could not have been applied.  Shula coached the Dolphins from 1970 to 1995 and most remembered for the 1972 Season.  The Dolphins were unbeaten in the regular season, 14–0–0. They swept the playoffs and finished 17–0–0.

This week's question, "Who was the only Jet in the 20th century to score four touchdowns in a single game?" 

a. Adrian Murrell 
b. Freeman McNeil
c. Wesley Walker
d. Curtis Martin

This week's winnners will receive a 12 month supply of Mark Birchard's Fanatic Hemorrhoid Cream.  Guaranteed to reduce your hemorrhoids by 22%.  Just ask his team!   All trivia answers should be submitted to E.A. Presley.


This week's checklist:

1.  Make sure you check your roster prior to Thursday games to make sure you don't lock in or lock out  the wrong player.  Your other players for
     Sunday and Monday will lock in at 12:59 Sunday morning (with the exception of those goofy early European games that the NFL schedules).

2.   Kalish is Pete's back up if for some reason you have to get a hold of the league office before game time (or go on record). Jeff's email, 
for backup. 

3.  Karl's quick tutorial on the "My Fantasy League Software,

4.  League Entry is $120.  Free agents, $5 a pop.  You can pay me in advance or wait.  Just don't leave me hanging at season's end. 
     (Jimmy, start hiding the cash from Mehalia in the sock drawer now.  Don't make me play collection agent).

5. To enjoy the music with your pc table for  the site, you need Adobe Flash.   The FireFox browser now longer supports Flash.  For cell phone, they
      do offer the FlashFox browser now for anDroid.

6.  For cell phones, here is the wireless live scoring link here.  
       (Note there is a MyFantasyLeague available in your app store).  The link above is a nice clean look for my taste.
7.  I like to listen to live updates on my PC with the GameDay Program, download here GAMEDAY APP.  Great App, it is Microsoft based....
     Use League ID 13439 when prompted.
Turn up the volume and enjoy.

8.  In the event Pete can't access the server.  VP Jeff Kalish now has administrative privileges if anyone has problems with the website.

Thursday, October 13
Denver DEN
San Diego SD
8:30 PM CBS
Qualcomm Stadium, San Diego
10,308 tickets available from $35
Sunday, October 16
San Francisco SF
Buffalo BUF
1:00 PM FOX New Era Field, Buffalo 1,889 tickets available from $103
Philadelphia PHI
Washington WSH
1:00 PM FOX FedEx Field, Landover 5,081 tickets available from $88
Cleveland CLE
Tennessee TEN
1:00 PM CBS Nissan Stadium, Nashville 2,325 tickets available from $55
Baltimore BAL
New York NYG
1:00 PM CBS MetLife Stadium, East Rutherford 2,726 tickets available from $168
Carolina CAR
New Orleans NO
1:00 PM FOX Mercedes-Benz Superdome, New Orleans 4,102 tickets available from $63
Jacksonville JAX
Chicago CHI
1:00 PM CBS Soldier Field, Chicago 4,309 tickets available from $109
Los Angeles LA
Detroit DET
1:00 PM FOX Ford Field, Detroit 7,898 tickets available from $30
Pittsburgh PIT
Miami MIA
1:00 PM CBS Hard Rock Stadium, Miami 3,370 tickets available from $169
Cincinnati CIN
New England NE
1:00 PM CBS Gillette Stadium, Foxboro 1,011 tickets available from $305
Kansas City KC
Oakland OAK
4:05 PM CBS Oakland Coliseum, Oakland 2,938 tickets available from $140
Atlanta ATL
Seattle SEA
4:25 PM FOX CenturyLink Field, Seattle 2,198 tickets available from $208
Dallas DAL
Green Bay GB
4:25 PM FOX Lambeau Field, Green Bay 2,259 tickets available from $268
Indianapolis IND
Houston HOU
8:30 PM NBC NRG Stadium, Houston 5,035 tickets available from $89
Monday, October 17
New York NYJ
Arizona ARI
8:30 PM ESPN U of Phoenix Stadium, Glendale 8,574 tickets available from $37
Tampa Bay


P. L. Purvis
Commissioner, OFFL

Dear Moultons:

We noticed you started TE Eric Ebron last week.  This is the 2nd week you started a player on the IR.  Like the NFL the OFFL has its issues that challenge the league every day.  We have our hangover protocol (drinking too much beer during Saturday's college fooball games and forgetting your NFL lineup)...  We also have an office that deals with Free Agent Addictioin  (that's when you spend your whole bank roll on free agency trying to chase points)... We also have an office for the Fantasy Challenged. 

Todd/Lauie, I believe the "Office for the Fantasy Challenge can help you.  They have great resources.  They have something call an injury report.  An injury report report lists players that are either doubtful or questiononable.  If either of those terms sound foreign, here are the defnitions:

DOUBTFUL:  of uncertain outcome or result. (more than like the player is out)
QUESTIONABLE:  open to  question/uncertainty to being of the nature or value suggested: (there is a chance the player will be ready at game time)

If you want to try to address your condition on your own (WHICH WED DO NOT RECOMMEND), you have resources you may seek on your own:

If either of these resources appear too complicated... There is something call Sports Talk Radio and Cable Television.  If you have any questions on either of those tools, please feel to call the commissioner's office at 1-877-CHECK-YOUR-DAMN-ROSTER-BEFORE-1PM-SUNDAY.


Pedro improves with a 4 and 7 showing last week  He is now 14 for 35 on the year (400). Spokesmodel for week six is Grace Park from CBS's Hawaii Five-0.


                            MATCHUP PREDICTION

  VS  46 to 55:  Tuna Wranglers
  VS  Cunning Linguists 41 to 63:  Cunning Linguists
  VS  44 to 52:  Midnight Riders *
  VS  63 to 59:  Belichick Yourself
  VS  54 to 60:  Deflators
  VS  65 to 58:  Diaper Genies
  VS  Flying Gators 44 to 69:  Flying Gators
  * Estradiol Game of the Week


Dr. Who Mug

For all you scifi fanatics out there, we present this officially licensed Doctor Who's Disappearing TARDIS Mug!  The iconic time machine / spacecraft sit in disguise on an English street. Add hot liquid and it disappears only to reappear in a far far away galaxy on the other side of the mug!  Holds 12 oz.  These mugs are not dishwasher safe-- They are  micowave safe.  Click here for more info.


Who Doesn't Love Blonde Jokes 
A blonde came home from school one day and said to her mom, ''I can count higher then all the kids in my second grade class, do you think it is because I am a blonde?'' Her mother replied, ''Of couse it is, dear.'' The next day, the blonde said, ''I can say the alphabet higher then anyone in my class, do you think it is because I am a blonde?'' Her mother replied, ''Of course it is dear!'' The next day the blonde came home from her gymnastics and asked her mother, ''I have a larger chest then all the kids in my class, do you think its because I am a blonde?'' Her mother replied, ''No dear, I think it is because you are eighteen years old.


BBQ Bacon Sauce

1 pound of you favorite backon finely diced
1/2 cup of minced yellow onion
1 tbsp minced garlic1 cup cider vinegar
1/2 cup ketchup2 tbsp tomato paste
2 tbsp Worcestershire
1/4 cup honey
|1 cup of lightly brown sugar
2 tsp of your favorite rub (or try the rub recipe below**)
1 tsp cayenne

For the sauce:  Cook bacon until well rendered and crisp in a deep skillet or pot.  Transfer bacon to a paper towel lined plate.  Drain all about 3 tbps of bacon grease and add the onion and garlic back to the skilet and cook until translucent.  Add vinegar, ketchup, tomato paste, and Worcestershire.  Bring to a boil, the decrease the heat to a simmer.  Add the bacon, honey, brown sugar, rub, and cayenne and stir until unincorporated.  Continue to simmer for 8 to 10 minutes, until the sugar is broken down and the sauce is lightly reduced.  Cool and store in an airtight container in the fridge. This is great on pork, pork chops and can be used as a ketchup substitute on your next meatloaf.

**BBQ Rub Mix the following together.  For best results use a coffee grinder or mortar/pestle to powder the sugars.

1 cup turbinado sugar
1//2 cup granulated sugar
1/2 cup kosher salt
1 tbs onion powder
2 tbs granulated garlic
1 1/2 tsp cayenne
1 tsp finely ground pepper
2 tsp dry mustard
1/4 cupof light chili powder
1 tsp ground cumin
1/4 cup plus 2 tbsp paprika

Per the Commissioner, we have archived all of the past year's football recipes from Mistress Bianca.   Just click right here

  Flying Gators Midnight Riders   Cunning Linguists