THE ROLLINGSKULL, VOLUME 10, ISSUE 143
September 23, 2016
|  Music by Kix, "Cold Blood"

     WEEK II PAYOUT:  Fish, Footlongs, & Deflators

     Is this the year of Surin?

     A Tale of Two Rookies, Belechick and Deflators

     The Fish could be going Holllywood on Us

     Hernandez Bros Brawl this Week

     Wranglers, Interceptors, and MYFL on Suicide Watch

     Regards, E. A. Presley, Editor and Chief of the Rolling Skull




 

Last week's question, "What year did the Cardinals first display the Cardinal on their helmet?"  The answer was 1960. 

The period of 1957 to 1962 were years of significant change for the Chicago Cardinals franchise. The team’s on-field record over that period of time was an embarrassing 23-50-3, with their best season coming in 1961 when they finished 7-7-0 under coach Frank “Pop” Ivy.By the mid-fifties it was become clearer everyday that Chicago wasn’t big enough for two NFl teams. As it turned out neither the Cardinals nor the Bears were able to take advantage of the lucrative television market because there was no market for televised Cardinals’ road games when the Bears were playing at home; and vice versa. Each team offered each other $500,000 to leave the Windy City, but neither would budge.

Finally, after the threat of the new American Football League coming into existence the Bidwell family decided to move the club to St. Louis before they lost that market to the upstart rival league. In 1960 the St. Louis Cardinals were born; co-incidentally giving the town a football team and a baseball team with the same name.In 1962 team owner Violet Bidwell died and control of the club was passed along to her two sons Charles W. Bidwell Jr. and William V. Bidwell.

The 1960’s was an innovative period where football uniforms were concerned. The AFL introduced not only new teams and cities to football fans, but new dynamic uniform designs too. This forced the NFL teams to rethink their look. Teams realizing the marketing value began to adorn helmets with a team logo. For the first time, the famous cardinal head logo on a white helmet. was displayed.  Also this rendition of the Cards outfit featured a short-sleeve jersey with numbers on the sleeves. The pants were white with red stripes from hip to knee, a lace-up fly and cinched at the waist with a belt.

This week's question is "What was the "original" full team name for the Partriots after Billy Sullivan moved the team to Foxboro?"

a.  Boston Patriots
b.  New England Patriots
c.  Bay State Patriots
d.  Natick Patriots

This week's winner will receive an autographed picture from Fighting Fish Owner, Robert Hernandez.  This picture was from his recent cover shoot for GQ.  They have plenty of copies as this was the lowest selling issue in the history of the publication.

All trivia answers should be submitted to E.A. Presley.






 

This week's checklist:

1.  Make sure you check your roster prior to Thursday games to make sure you don't lock in or lock out  the wrong player.  Your other players for
     Sunday and Monday will lock in at 12:59 Sunday morning (with the exception of those goofy early European games that the NFL schedules).

2.   Kalish is Pete's back up if for some reason you have to get a hold of the league office before game time (or go on record). Jeff's email,
     JKalish@shepherdagency.com 
for backup. 

3.  Karl's quick tutorial on the "My Fantasy League Software, http://offl-balls.com/howtoguide.htm.

4.  League Entry is $120.  Free agents, $5 a pop.  You can pay me in advance or wait.  Just don't leave me hanging at season's end. 
     (Jimmy, start hiding the cash from Mehalia in the sock drawer now.  Don't make me play collection agent).

5. To enjoy the music with your pc table for  the site, you need Adobe Flash.   The FireFox browser now longer supports Flash.  For cell phone, they
      do offer the FlashFox browser now for anDroid.

6.  For cell phones, here is the wireless live scoring link here.  
       (Note there is a MyFantasyLeague available in your app store).  The link above is a nice clean look for my taste.
 
7.  I like to listen to live updates on my PC with the GameDay Program, download here GAMEDAY APP.  Great App, it is Microsoft based....
     Use League ID 13439 when prompted.
Turn up the volume and enjoy.

Week 3
Thursday, Sep. 22
Game Time/Score TV Location/Tickets
Houston at New England 8:25 PM CBS Gillette Stadium - Tickets available from $96
Sunday, Sep. 25
Game Time/Score TV Location/Tickets
Minnesota at Carolina 1:00 PM FOX Bank of America Stadium - Tickets available from $51
Detroit at Green Bay 1:00 PM FOX Lambeau Field - Tickets available from $96
Baltimore at Jacksonville 1:00 PM CBS EverBank Field - Tickets available from $27
Arizona at Buffalo 1:00 PM FOX New Era Field - Tickets available from $37
Oakland at Tennessee 1:00 PM CBS Nissan Stadium - Tickets available from $47
Cleveland at Miami 1:00 PM CBS Hard Rock Stadium - Tickets available from $11
Washington at N.Y. Giants 1:00 PM FOX MetLife Stadium - Tickets available from $42
Denver at Cincinnati 1:00 PM CBS Paul Brown Stadium - Tickets available from $52
San Francisco at Seattle 4:05 PM FOX CenturyLink Field - Tickets available from $140
L.A. Rams at Tampa Bay 4:05 PM FOX Raymond James Stadium - Tickets available from $42
 N.Y. Jets at Kansas City 4:25 PM CBS Arrowhead Stadium - Tickets available from $20
San Diego at Indianapolis 4:25 PM CBS Lucas Oil Stadium - Tickets available from $19
Pittsburgh at Philadelphia 4:25 PM CBS Lincoln Financial Field - Tickets available from $96
Chicago at Dallas 8:30 PM NBC AT&T Stadium - Tickets available from $33
Monday, Sep. 26
Game Time/Score TV Location/Tickets
Atlanta at New Orleans 8:30 PM ESPN Mercedes-Benz Superdome - Tickets available from $52

Cordialy,

P. L. Purvis
Commissioner, OFFL




 
Last week was single handedly the most screwed up fantasy weekend in football history.  I think the commissioner should make week 2 null and void...

Tuna Wranglers at 39.5 points, somebody get that  boy some VIAGRA! When kicker Chandler Catanzaro is your number one guy with 10 poinnts, lord help ya!  The only thing worse is the Fanatics beating the Wranglers with a 13 point effort from their Rams Defense.   The Fanatic new team name should be "The FUGLY."

Done With Mirrors (aka Deflators) goes 2 and 0.  The illusioninst does sit again with a 20 point effort from a freaking kicker, Graham Gano!

Hey Riders!   How about those 6 points that your number one pick, Todd Gurley has produced in two games?  If you draft like a B!T@#, you get slapped like a B!T@#.  Welcome back to earth.  Love the Alex Smith start too...

MYLF?  MYLF?  Here Kitty, Kitty?   NO ANSWER?  No surprise.  Your team couldn't answer the last two weeks either!  Without 9 points from Brees, you wouldn't have broke the 30 point threshold last week.

Belechick Yourself, go check ya drawers!  We think you SHAT yourself with only Derek Carr as a double digit producer last weekend.  This only made it easier for "Done Wiith Mirrors (aka Deflators) to bring home win number two while you did number two in ya drawers!

Last but not least....  How did  the Gangsters win again last week?  17 points from RB, Matt Forte who outscored Jimmy's  WR's, TE, and RB2 combined.  Forte's first two games were gifts.  With Seattle ahead, Forte's numbers will decline faster than Jimmy's testosterone count did when he said, "I do."

 - BOMB OUT!


 
 
Pedro goes an unprecedented,  2 for 7.  4 for 14 on the year (286). Claire Holt from NBC's Aquarius tries to get him back on track in week three.
   

SPOKESMODEL

                            MATCHUP PREDICTION

  VS  45 to 53:  Fanatics *
  VS  Flying Gators 59 to 54:  Interceptors
  VS  53 to 54:  Norwood Slammers
  VS  43 to 70:  Deflators
  VS  50 to 54:  Diaper Genies
  VS  Cunning Linguists 58 to 54:  Midnight Riders
  VS  57 to 61:   $5 Footlongs
  * Estradiol Game of the Week


 


    

Paqui Carolina Reaper: The Tortilla Chip So Hot It’s Sold in Packages of One

We’ve all heard the famous advertising tagline “Bet You Can’t Eat Just One.” The people at Paqui could very easily co-opt that slogan but take out the “just,” because they have a new tortilla chip out that’s so hot they’re selling it one chip at a time. It’s the Paqui Carolina Reaper, also known as the “One Chip Challenge” (not to be confused with Chip’s Challenge). The Paqui Carolina Reaper may well be the spiciest chip ever made, seasoned with a blend of canola oil, Carolina reaper pepper, ghost pepper, sea salt, and chipotle pepper. The end result is a chip that one would be wise not to eat at all—but at least you don’t have to worry about accidentally cramming a bunch of them into your mouth at once.Unless, of course, you buy a whole bunch of Paqui Carolina Reaper chips at five dollars a pop from the Paqui online store right here. You may not want to try this, but what the hell.
 


TOP TEN THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY IN GOLF BUT AREN'T

10. Nuts...my shaft is bent.

9. After 18 holes I can barely walk.

8. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker.

7. Look at the size of his putter.

6. Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more.

5. Mind if I join your threesome?

4. Stand with your back turned and drop it.

3. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip.

2. Nice stroke, but your follow through has a lot to be desired.

1. Hold up...I need to wash my balls first.

 
TAILGATING WIGH MISTRESS BIANCA

OFFL Crab Cakes

Broiled crab cakes that are guaranteed to knock your &^% in the dirt.  Made with lump crab meat and garnished with a lemon butter sauce.  The volume(s) below will make four crab cakes.

Juice of 1/2 of a lemmon
1 tbs Worcestershire
3 egg yolks
1/2 tsp dry mustard
1/2 tsp black pepper
Pinch of red pepper flakes
Pinch of Old Bay seasoning
Pinch of salt
3 tbs mayonnaise
1 cup fresh bread crumbs
1/4 cup fincly chopped parsley
1 pound of lump crap meat (the fresher the better)
Olive oil for sauteing

- Mix together the lemon juice, worcestershire, egg yoks, mustard, black pepper, red pepper flakes, Old Bay, salt, and mayonaise in a large bowl.

- Then add bread crumbs, parsley and mix.

- Pick over the crab meat to remove any shell.  Add the crab to the mixture and toss lightly to leave "some" chunks in the crab meat.

- Make into four 3 inch patties and saute in olive oil  for 2 - 3 minutes on each side until brown.

Per the Commissioner, we have archived all of the past year's football recipes from Mistress Bianca.   Just click right here




  Flying Gators Midnight Riders   Cunning Linguists