Little Johnny, A Lesson in Government
A teacher was teaching her second grade class about the government,
so for homework that one day, she told her students to ask their parents
what the government is.
When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to
his dad and ask his what the government was.
His dad thought for a while and answered, ''Look at
it this way: I'm the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the
work force, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.''
''I still don't get it'' responded the Little
''Why don't you sleep on it then? Maybe you'll
understand it better,'' said the dad.
''Okay then...good night'' said Little Jonny went
off to bed. In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by
his baby brother's crying. He went to his baby brother's crib and found
that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny
went to his parent's room to get help. When he got to his parent's
bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were
asleep. Through the keyhole he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad
wasn't there. So he went to the maid's room. When he looked through the
maid's room keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his maid. Little
Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks
aloud, ''OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is screwing
the work force, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people,
and the future is full of s**t!''
and Irish Stout Stew
Feel like a good stew for the tailgate, but don't have time to wait on a
crock pot? Not a problem. This can also be used as a pie
filler if you want to look bad ass.
1-2 tablespoons canola oil
2.2 pounds beef shoulder, cut into
1 onion, chopped
2 carrots, roughly chopped
stalks celery, roughly chopped
2 cloves garlic, finely sliced
cup beef stock
2 cups Irish stout, (I prefer Killians, Guiness will
1 bay leaf
Sea salt and ground black pepper
tablespoons all-purpose flour (optional)
Mashed potatoes or crusty
bread, for serving
1. In a large pot, heat the oil and brown the
meat in two batches, taking care not to overcrowd the pan. Remove and
set aside on a plate. Add another drop of oil if you need it, then fry
off the onion, carrots and celery. Add the meat back into the pot along
with the garlic.
2. Pour in the stock, stout, bay leaf and
season with the salt and pepper. Simmer gently for about 1½ hours until
the liquid has reduced.
3. If the sauce isn't thick enough, strain the
juices into a bowl and then transfer to a small sauce pan. Then mix a
little of the sauce with the flour over high heat until you have a
smooth paste, then whisk through the rest of the liquid. Simmer gently
until you have a thickened sauce, then add the thickened sauce over the
4. Serve with mashed potatoes or crusty bread.
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